The Brits–yes, those same Brits whose colonial chains we threw off centuries ago–have usurped a role in the world I thought was solidly in the United States’ grasp.
They are more addicted to fast food than us.
45% of the Brits claimed they liked fast food too much to give it up, compared to 44% of Americans (we were second, if that’s any comfort).
For lunch today, I’m going to run out to Jack In The Box and chow down on an Ultimate Cheeseburger. And if that’s not good enough, I’m going to keep on eating at different fast food places until I find one that I get addicted to.
How will you help restore the pride of your country? (If you’re British, hold off on stuffing down some of that fish and chips, if you would please? They don’t taste as good as you think.)
You vegetarian reader(s) have no excuse; Burger King offers some sort of black bean burger.
i might be addicted to taco bell’s spicy chicken crunchwrap supreme, but as long as i don’t admit i have a problem, i don’t….
That’s just sad. Beaten at our own game.
Did you see the news item about Yum Brands* missing its earnings target? They said we’re mad, we’re not going to take it any more, and we’re going to make like McDonalds and offer more healthy choices.
*Yum operates KFC, Taco Bell etc.
Sorry… it’s my fault. Didn’t mean to let down the US like that. But I have GOT to lose some weight.
Got Sushi?
I’ll pick up the slack, Blunderprone–I was going to avoid fast food in the future but if it’s for National Pride I’ll bite the bullet and the Six-Dollar Burger! Bring me the Jumbo, the Extra, the Triple Burger with the Triple-thick shake for an appetizer and the Fourth Meal for dessert!
Ummm, sorry I’m feeling a little quesy, gotta run…
pre-hypertension, fish and chips were my very, very favorite fast food, slathered in tartar sauce and drizzled with lemon juice. I should have bought stock in Captain D’s. Coming in a close second was Wendy’s Jr Bacon Cheeseburger and Biggie fries. Oh, my eyes well up with emotion.
But in the name of National Pride, i’d drive up to Captain D’s again.
Heh heh… Wahrheit, you gotta “run”…don’t make a mess. 🙂
@chessloser: C’mon, be a man, admit it. You can even call 1-800-YUM-ADDICT for help…
@Derek: When doing a Yahoo! search for yum earnings target, I kept on getting their older, good news. I had to refine the search to find the story (yum brands healthy options did the trick).
In a few years, when all the fast food giants are advocating their “healthy” options, the time would be right to open a joint called “Fat”. No pansy food. No apologies.
Simply offering a variety of products helps keep people coming back. At Pizza Hut, I can get…a pizza and breadsticks. At KFC, I can get…original OR spicy fried chicken.
Sometimes, the health of a meal is an illusion; eg, the calories in those salad dressings.
@Blunderprone: Well…OK, I guess we’re still in second, so it’s not TOO bad. I just hope you’re not one of the people they survey next year.
I read your comment somewhere that you’ve been making progress with the weight, so congrats on that so far.
@Wahrheit: You can leave off the FourthMeal if that’s the part making you “queasy”. The most important thing is to say that you’re addicted to fast food when anyone with a notepad asks you.
@Annie: If you take out the tartar sauce, batter, and French fries, fish and chips is actually a pretty healthy option. Maybe I’ll bring some Captain D’s to your office.
Does anyone else consider Long John Silver’s to be the worst fast food in the world? I go once every 3 years or so just to check it out, and always regret it.
i agree, LJS is the rubbery cafeteria food to Capt D’s golden perfection. Donnie, bite your tongue. I used to pick the batter off the fish and savor the crunch. if you bring it by, also bring a defibrillator. and tissues. i’ll cry.
I think it’s laughable that McD’s is offering “healthy options” like bottled water but they charge for the upgrade. Doesn’t that defeat the purpose? bleh.
I had a crunchwrap supreme and apple pie for lunch today. Just doing my part.
@Annie: It’s part of the conspiracy. “They” want to make sure that poor people can’t afford healthy food as part of the scheme to help keep poor people poor.
@Carson: Thanks for your contribution. You are a true American!