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At least they’re standing up for themselves

Posted on August 15, 2007 By Liquid Egg Product 3 Comments on At least they’re standing up for themselves
In the News, Weaksauce Losers
Judge Roy Pearson

No one can say these guys aren’t willing to take some heat.

The first guy is one we’ve encountered before, that symbol of the American justice system, Judge Roy Pearson. As you probably recall, he sued some dry cleaners for $54 million over a lost pair of trousers and a misleading store sign. He lost, despite an emotional breakdown on the witness stand talking about his lost trousers. The store owners dropped their demand to have their legal fees reimbursed, hoping Mr. Pearson would finally end his crusade. Instead, he’s filing an appeal, clearly attempting to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that he is an ***hole.

Leroy Greer

Leroy Greer is our next exhibit. He’s suing 1-800-FLOWERS $1.5 million for not protecting his privacy.

He and his wife were working out an apparently somewhat civil divorce. While this was going on, Mr. Greer sent a bunch of roses to his girlfriend, specifying it should be private. 1-800-FLOWERS sent a thank you note to his address, the wife got to it first, and that was that. The divorce has now become slightly less civil, the wife’s demanding a lot more money because of his infidelity (sources varying from $300K to $500K), and Mr. Greer’s mad at the florist. The florist must be giddy at the free advertising, especially since hardly anyone thinks the company did anything wrong.

It just hasn’t been a good day for middle-age slightly greying black men with a wispy moustaches wearing black pinstripe suits.

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3 thoughts on “At least they’re standing up for themselves”

  1. chessloser says:
    August 15, 2007 at 10:56 pm

    i don’t know…it’s not like they were trying to hide $90000 in his freezer…

    Reply
  2. annie says:
    August 16, 2007 at 2:52 am

    If Judge Fancy Pants even THINKS about bringing race into the mix, I hope he puts on his next pair and finds Icy Hot(C) smeared all over the seams.

    As for Cheater Pumpkin Eater…omg, YOU are the victim? Not that I admire your wifey for demanding more money (personally, I’d just put icy hot in your boxers) but wow. Be glad you didn’t get run over with the car. Which is really what you deserve.

    Reply
  3. Donnie Briggs says:
    August 16, 2007 at 12:36 pm

    CL: Oh, yes, our favorite congressman. If he had sported a wispy mustache, these guys would have been a trifecta.

    Annie: Icy Hot(C) in the underwear is dreadful? I had no idea, but now thinking about it…yeah, perhaps not an optimal situation.

    Reply

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