OK, ladies, so…if you’re talking with a guy and he’s mostly looking at your mouth, is he interested or not interested in you?
Naturally, the answer is both. You see, when a guy focuses on your lips, he’s trying to avoid eye contact. Or it means he’s giving a non-verbal cue that he wants to kiss you. It mainly depends on what expert/website you get your advice from.
Have you ever been in a restaurant and wondered whether that cute waiter or waitress was smiling at you because it’s their job or because they’re hoping to get your number?
With the advent of the swine flu, I’ve developed a foolproof way to figure out whether you’re in line for true love. You just need the following three things:
1. A mask that protects against swine flu.
2. Cash to pay your bill (there could be complications with credit cards).
3. The ability to run relatively quickly.
First step is to make sure to be wearing the mask before you get into the restaurant. Since there’s the swine flu going around, you won’t look too suspicious. Then if you notice that cutie waitress smiling at you a lot, here’s where you make your move. Go ahead and pinch her butt or grope her. If she gives you her phone number, congratulations! You’ve gotten yourself a hot date.
On the other hand, if she screams or calls for police, it’s time to switch to plan B. Throw enough cash on the table to cover your bill. So if the police catch you, they can’t say you didn’t pay. Then run like heck. If you’re wearing the mask like you’re supposed to, it’ll be hard for them to get a positive ID.
“Why coverup aliens? They can offer us a better system of Gov, economy, fuel, etc. Our leaders would be out of work. If aliens set up a hover car shop in every major city, why buy automobiles? No amount of bailout will save the day. Why go to the doctor, or buy medicine, if aliens cna cure diease? NO more hungry people if aliens can make us photosynthetic. Aliens are covered up to protect our economy, or job market, etc.”
So I went into Home Depot to get some keys cut. Upon walking into the store, a lady smiled and greeted me, asking me what I needed. She directed me exactly where I needed to go and had someone ready to take my order when I got there. The key cutter was polite and efficient, and I was quickly on my way.
Frankly, it was a disorienting experience for a place where the standard is for employees to ignore the customer, instead engaging in conversation and gossip with each other. The only proof I have that this trip was not a hallucination is a receipt, which has an actual Home Depot logo on the top.
A popular interpretation of the book of Revelation holds that at some point during the end-times an unholy Trinity will rule the Earth…Satan, the Anti-Christ, and the Beast.
