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Category: Weaksauce Losers

So, no rematch?

Posted on September 6, 2018 By Liquid Egg Product 5 Comments on So, no rematch?
Chess, Weaksauce Losers

“GG no re” I believe is still a common nomenclature in the internet gaming world.

Oh, and bonus insults!

The third stage

Posted on March 12, 2016 By Liquid Egg Product 2 Comments on The third stage
Burning Agony, Patently Ineffective, Uncomfortability

So for my job, there are three mental stages I go through when new software needs to be demoed:

1. Despair: Impending sense of doom. There is no way we’ll be ready for production. The scope’s too big, we barely have the resources for an alpha build, never mind sufficient time for testing.

2. Resignation: Realization that whatever happens, happens. No one has killed me yet.

3. Unfounded optimism: Some of the most critical tasks/bugs get resolved just before software has to be demoed. It’s an incredible feeling of relief that temporarily overshadows the knowledge that there’s still way too many features with scant review and testing. And that there are some lingering requirements unfulfilled.

4. Tragedy: Product promptly fails in presentation to client.

Rinse and repeat.

Right now, two hours before the meeting, I’m at stage 3.

The desperation is real

Posted on March 10, 2016 By Liquid Egg Product 2 Comments on The desperation is real
Bad Ads, In the News, Patently Ineffective, Weaksauce Losers

So I’m in Miami on business. I get this ad:

A vote for Kasich or Cruz = A vote for Trump (Rubio's in there somewhere, right?)

You get a quick glance at it as you’re browsing the internet. Who does it want you to vote for?

1. Trump is smiling, in full color. His picture gets the most retail space. The others are in grey-scale. Smells like a Trump ad!

2. “Kasich” and “Cruz” are the first names you see. But Trump’s name is the biggest. Surely, it’s a Trump ad.

3. In fact, “A VOTE FOR TRUMP” is the most prominent text. Must be a Trump ad!

4. Your eye is drawn to Trump’s color photo with the bright red “SEE WHY” just below him. They want you to “see why” you should vote for Trump!

This feels like a Trump ad that didn’t even deign to mention the increasingly irrelevant Rubio.

Of course, if you bother to read it, you might figure out it IS a friggin’ Marco Rubio ad. Naturally, Rubio’s face is nowhere to be seen, even though his relative attractiveness would be an advantage. And his name is in a smaller, harder-to-read font. Even the little lens flare interrupts the flow of “Marco Rubio for president”.

I’d bet $20 this ad was the brain-child of a couple middle-aged men, one of whom happened to have a teenage son who can dabble with Photoshop a bit.

Coming soon: an Election 2016 roundtable with the Eggs!

I got a new job

Posted on March 17, 2014 By Liquid Egg Product 2 Comments on I got a new job
Patently Ineffective, Random

The best thing is that drinking on the job is a requirement (engrish.com is the best)!

programmers-urine-shrimp

The AFA considers the Grinch Christmas-friendly

Posted on December 3, 2013 By Liquid Egg Product No Comments on The AFA considers the Grinch Christmas-friendly
Bad Ads, Patently Ineffective, Religion

The amount of foolishness that emanates from American Christianity never ceases. Or ceases to amaze.

The AFA (American Family Association) is zealously guarding the Christmas season, convinced that saying “holiday” instead of “Christmas” is leading people away from Christ.

They’ve taken the time to compile a list of companies that use the word “Christmas” in their seasonal advertising.

If the Grinch were on this list, he’d be in the green section. He used the word “Christmas” all the time.

The_Grinch_(That_Stole_Christmas)

Poe’s Law, sort of

Posted on October 28, 2013 By Liquid Egg Product 1 Comment on Poe’s Law, sort of
Burning Agony, Religion, Uncomfortability

I can’t tell whether this was actually performed by a church, or some sort of parody.

Those targeted ads are getting more effective all the time

Posted on October 17, 2013 By Liquid Egg Product 7 Comments on Those targeted ads are getting more effective all the time
Bad Ads, Patently Ineffective

A full body dryer and a pumpkin tap. They sure know how to read my mind.

body dryer and pumpkin tap

I wonder how those body driers work. We’re probably all familiar with those hand driers in public restrooms, which all rely on the same routine:

1. Press the button.
2. Rub hands in the stream of hot air.
3. Wipe hands on pants.

But if you’re walking out of the shower, you presumably aren’t wearing any clothes. So what are you supposed to wipe your body against? This is kind of confusing.

Pokemon are EVIL

Posted on September 25, 2013 By Liquid Egg Product No Comments on Pokemon are EVIL
Gaming, Patently Ineffective, Religion

Don’t laugh. Pokemon are just one step on the path to Satan worship.

Galileo was wrong?

Posted on August 18, 2013 By Liquid Egg Product 5 Comments on Galileo was wrong?
Patently Ineffective, Science/Technology

On a whim, I decided to poke around the Internet for serious defenders of geocentrism. And, behold, galileowaswrong.com from one Robert Sugenis!

He has written a 1000-page treatise explaining the accuracy of geocentrism. No, I haven’t read it, and until his website addresses a couple of shortcomings, it is not worth the time. Sugenis asserts that retrograde motion and parallax are handled in the geocentric model, but with little or no explanation as to why we would accept these claims (I looked).

An important aspect of a scientific model is that it should be able to make predictions.* As an example of heliocentrism’s strength, we can observe the retrograde motion of planets. Normally, planets move from east to west relative to the stars. But once in a while, they slow down and then start moving eastward! Then, they start their normal westward motion again.

Retrograde motion

This is difficult to explain in a geocentric model…why would the planets sometimes move backwards? The ancient Greeks settled on a system of “epicircles” to explain this motion. As the planets orbit the Earth, they would also orbit a point in space, like so:

Mars orbiting Earth, the epicircle model

But you now need another explanation…WHY would the planets orbit these points? (Plus, you’d need to demonstrate that the motions of all the solar system’s bodies can be explained with this model.)

With the heliocentric model, just add the Theory of Gravity and a little more physics, and you’re almost done. Even if you weren’t aware of retrograde motion, the heliocentric predicts it. The inner planets orbit the sun at faster than outer planets, so there is a period of time when the inner planet is passing the outer planet. During that time, the outer planet appears to be going backward, much like a slower car appears to be going backward looking out a side window.

And just for fun, a quote from the website:

Before I begin my scientific critique of Alec MacAndrew, I think it should be stated that he admits to being an atheist. Because of that, he would no sooner entertain the possibility of a geocentric system than he would accept six-day creationism over evolution.

Yep, he thinks that atheism implies heliocentrism. It’s hard not to guess why he thinks that, and it’s a sad example of tribalism trumping logic.


*The ability to make predictions is a sticking point for intelligent design. It doesn’t tell us anything about life. If the Creator can make anything that is possible, then it might exist. Literally any piece of evidence needs no further explanation than “the Creator made it that way”.

Evolution, however, makes falsifiable claims. If we ever discover a Pegasus or find trilobite and human fossils together, there is some serious splainin’ to do, Lucy!

“I BUST HIS AZZ!”

Posted on August 16, 2013 By Liquid Egg Product No Comments on “I BUST HIS AZZ!”
Chess, Patently Ineffective

OK. So, there’s this guy Jay Love. He made a YouTube channel to show off his chess exploits…except he isn’t very good. (Imagine watching a couple of your friends who know the rules and not much else. You wince in agony* as you notice pieces being left en prise all the time. That’s pretty much what you’re getting on his channel.)

I also love how he keeps track of the pieces lost count as if it’s a sports score (“He came down and took my Rook, so he’s up 7 – 2 now!”).

But I’ll give him props for attitude and swagger. And who knows; maybe he’ll study up and become good enough someday to make me eat my words.

* In full acknowledgement that players Expert level and higher wince at my games.

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