In this issue:
* Steinitz Escapes From Hell!: Epic century-long match with Prince of Darkness lets him win back his soul! (FIDE President Ilyumzhinov emphasizes match not officially sanctioned: “Steinitz will have to qualify for the World Championship just like everyone else.”)
* Alexandra Kosteniuk caught in gay scandal! (say sources)
* Expert too modest to admit he’s drawn IM’s
* Mayan Calendar Shocker: Blackmar-Diemar Gambit will become a viable opening in 2012!