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Eggnic Cleansing

Posted on February 19, 2011 By The Mascot 15 Comments on Eggnic Cleansing
Burning Agony, Weaksauce Losers

I knew I should have been suspicious of Donnie’s new girlfriend. Not only has he stopped blogging, but the top-secret ESN (Espionage Spy Network) has caught them in the most heinous criminal activity.

My suspicions were confirmed recently when Katrushka (that’s that so-called “girlfriend”, more like “girlfiend”) suggested eating boiled eggs on their picnic. Donnie, who should know better, was all like “OK, dear”, probably he wanted to get in her pants instead of sticking to moral principles.

The ESN captured the following pictures of their wanton, abject cruelty (WARNING: these images are disturbing, violent, and heartbreaking)

The World Court at the Yolkgue has already ordered their arrest on charges of “Eggnic Cleansing”. If you see them, please beat them up and capture them until the Eggish Police and the Cyber Police can drag their sorry butts to court. Thank you.

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15 thoughts on “Eggnic Cleansing”

  1. Katrushka says:
    February 19, 2011 at 12:53 am

    Dear Mascot:

    You’re next.

    Love,
    Katrushka

    Reply
  2. Q says:
    February 19, 2011 at 8:43 am

    One of the eggs is a cyclops 🙂

    May i be the Defence lawyer?

    Reply
  3. annie says:
    February 19, 2011 at 11:45 pm

    she *is* cruel. She yanked their heads off their little stick bodies. also the two eggs trying to comfort each other in the first picture are just haunting. oh i’m scarred.

    Reply
  4. Pawn Shaman says:
    February 21, 2011 at 6:14 pm

    You are the Glenn Beck of the Egg world. I mean that in a good way.

    Reply
  5. wang says:
    February 21, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    I’d feel bad, but c’mon if you guys weren’t meant to be eaten, why are you so delicious?

    Reply
  6. Donnie says:
    February 23, 2011 at 11:29 pm

    So far, we’ve been able to evade the ESN and/or kick their butts. They’re kind of wimps.

    Reply
  7. The Mascot says:
    February 23, 2011 at 11:37 pm

    @Katrushka: Don’t you remember the LEP theme song? “Don’t eat eggs, it’ll turn you gay.”? If you keep eating eggs, you and Donnie will break up!

    @Q: The egg is a cyclops because of the environmental damage caused by dirty human nuclear power.

    Why would you want to be the defense lawyer? Do you like trying the impossible

    @Annie: This is why I like you. Let me know if you are ever up for a bit of polygamy.

    @Pawn Shaman: Do you mean the rich and famous part, or the paranoid conspiracy theorist part?

    @wang: If humans weren’t meant to be eaten, you are YOU so delicious? (Just ask any cannibal from Booga-Booga Land.)

    @Donnie: Um, those were the fake guys. Yeah.

    Reply
    1. Pawn Shaman says:
      February 26, 2011 at 12:37 am

      The paranoid conspiracy theorist part. :)And your honest devotion to them.

      Reply
    2. Katrushka says:
      February 26, 2011 at 1:45 pm

      Don’t worry, Mascot. If eating eggs turns me gay, I’ll just corrupt your Girl Friday, Annie.

      Reply
    3. The Mascot says:
      February 27, 2011 at 10:47 pm

      @Pawn Shaman: You wouldn’t be so blithe if YOU were an egg.

      @The Girlfiend: HAWT!

      Reply
  8. Derek Slater says:
    February 26, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    Do white eggs discriminate against brown ones and/or vice versa?

    Reply
    1. The Mascot says:
      February 27, 2011 at 10:47 pm

      That question never even comes up. More proof of human inferiority!

      Reply
    2. Mr. E says:
      February 27, 2011 at 10:49 pm

      I never heard such jibba-jabba. No one DARES to discriminate, else they’re going to get a taste of THESE!!! (You can’t tell, but I’m pointing to my fists, fool!)

      Reply
  9. Annie says:
    February 26, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    Why only friday? Im up for a little corruption any day >;)

    Reply
    1. Katrushka says:
      February 26, 2011 at 5:29 pm

      That’s hot.

      Reply

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