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Getting the girl

Posted on October 16, 2007 By Liquid Egg Product 8 Comments on Getting the girl
Babes & Alleged Babes

Dear Mascot,

I feel bad for you, being such an inept flirt (I won’t embarrass you by sharing your experience from last night). I’m going to teach you how to get a girl’s number. First, let’s take a look at your methods:

1. Going heavy on the Don Juan wanna-be moves.
2. Posting nude pics of yourself.
3. Trying to win so-called “masculinity contests” against females.

First, you don’t have the body to impress anyone (heck, I don’t have the body to impress anyone and it’s better than yours). Second, if you have a hard time proving you’re more masculine than females, you’ve pretty much lost the battle already.

Let’s compare that with what I did on a flight a couple weeks back:

1. Offered use of headset to hear the in-flight entertainment (we ended up using one earpiece each—tres romantique, although that was not the intention).
2. Showed an interest in her life and hobbies.
3. Respectfully (and nervously) asked about potential future meetings.

Strangely, I asked for her number despite being unsure of pursuing it. Maybe it was just to prove to myself that I’ll have the stones to do it again in the future.

[The Mascot responds: I hate you, and I think you’re a liar.]

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8 thoughts on “Getting the girl”

  1. annie says:
    October 16, 2007 at 12:22 pm

    Mascot – don’t hate, congratulate.

    Donnie – *sigh*.

    Reply
  2. Allen says:
    October 16, 2007 at 1:47 pm

    Before I can pass judgement, did she:
    1) provide the phone number?
    2) provide a REAL phone number?
    3) provide a REAL phone number that doesn’t go to some radio station’s voicemail?

    Reply
  3. Donnie says:
    October 16, 2007 at 2:36 pm

    @Annie: *Sigh*? I’m just proud not to have used my usual technique for picking up hot chicks:

    1. Mentally curl up in the fetal position and don’t talk to them.

    @Allen: Google could not find the phone number, which is probably good (it’s not some local company number). But I’m really have to call to prove it’s not fake now, don’t I?

    Reply
  4. Liquid E. P. Mascot says:
    October 16, 2007 at 2:37 pm

    LOL great point allen. i think she gave a fake number just to get rid of him.

    Reply
  5. annie says:
    October 16, 2007 at 3:42 pm

    hahaha no pressure don-don, but I think you should call. however, I do applaud you for not doing the mental fetal curl thing. that’s big stones man. Big stones.

    Reply
  6. Donnie says:
    October 17, 2007 at 9:03 am

    Good news: the phone number’s really hers.

    Bad news: apparently, it was turned off b/c it went straight to answering machine.

    The suspense continues…

    Reply
  7. Allen says:
    October 17, 2007 at 9:56 am

    Was it the generic cell phone voicemail of:

    This is the voicemail box for 7-8-6….

    Or was it an actual voice?

    Either way, perhaps they were midflight

    Reply
  8. annie says:
    October 17, 2007 at 10:56 am

    WoooooooooHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Stones, baby. 🙂

    Reply

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