Annie had this idea that if I were to start an exercise regimen, having “before” and “after” pictures would be a good idea.
Today, I post the “before” pictures. In deference to those of you who are eating, you’ll need to click the link to see the pics.
Now I know what a few of you are thinking. “Donnie, it’s not that bad. You could be worse off — you could be me.” Yes, understood. But it feels like when a 1300 rated chessplayer admires my 1600 rating. Sure, it’s OK, but it’s not that good.
Even though my weight is not a problem, my overall living is not that healthy. I don’t exercise and vegetable consumption seems weak.
A side view makes my lack of conditioning more obvious:
My stomach is bigger than my chest, and I have a rather ample “office butt”. Plus it’s obvious my arms have one or maybe two muscles total.
Fortunately, my new apartment complex has a gym handy, so I’ve dived into an exercise regimen. Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday for weightlifting, Monday, Wednesday, Friday for running (or other aerobic activity).
Will I get yoked like Carrot Top? Well, OK, maybe that’s not something to shoot for. In any case, I’m not doing this not for appearance, but for health. A changed physique will be a side-effect, though. And if I end up with a six-pack, that’s nothing to complain about.
Besides, it would be nice not to have to buy clothes at Kids Gap to make my arms look bigger.
office butt. haha! office butt! i just like saying that.
speaking of veggie consumption, we should drag you to classic kitchen. great stinky tofu and other very chinese edibles. no english, no problem! 🙂
Aaaiiieeee! Carrot top!? (WTF) Arrrggg! I was eating too… make it stop!
Donnie warned you first, “In deference to those of you who are eating, you’ll need to click the link to see the pics.”
If you want to look like carrot top natural gym excersises won’t work. You’ll have to use anabolic steroids, testosterone and growth hormones and shit.
Anyway, i can really recommend the following excersise. It’ll get your heart pumping and have you working up a sweat. Great for at home.
SO…the sexiest chess blogger pose off has begun!
I will crush you Donnie, I swear it!!!
As soon as I finish eating my ice cream lunch…
Look out boys, I may have to get in on this one. While I’m in fair shape for a man of my advanced age, I could use a challenge like this as motivation.
Donnie, what’s with the socks? These “before” pics should be nothing but a Speedo, right?
Short guy complex much?
@Annie: very chinese edibles
Now I’m wondering what makes them “very Chinese” as opposed to regular Chinese.
@Blunderprone: I was considering Ed “Guns” Hochuli, but he isn’t as ridiculous.
@Allen: Absolutely, I have consideration for my readers. It’s not like I post pictures of Manuel Uribe without warning or anything.
@CMoB: Anabolic steroids and testosterone, no problem. But growth hormones are right out.
@Wang: If people would actually enter, I would 100% run that contest.
@Robert: If you’re on that Cenegenics thing, you’re a shoo-in winner for sure.
@Thryge: Actually, it’s a skinny, awkward, wimpy white guy complex (aka the Shawn Bradley complex). My height is average.
Wow, thanks Donnie, that Dr. Life guy is even older than I am! I will be stepping up even beyond the motivational techniques I learned from the Mascot, along with a healthy dose of TA-65!
chinese = stirfried veggies
very chinese = stuff that smells like raw sewage
extremely chinese = organs
by the way I enjoyed a lunch of brown-sugar ham, mashed taters, marshmallow-topped yams, some limey-whippedcream-toasted coconut fluffy stuff, and a coconut creamed pie while gawking at donnie’s office butt. my appetite wasn’t dampened. c’mon blunderprone be a man. 🙂
Annie – don’t tell Donnie I said this but you’re much funnier than he is.
Oh contraire Annie: http://bellyjeans.blogspot.com/
I have my posted my pics there WAY before Donnie
Donnie, I expected a topless spread from the Mascot, but …
Been there, done that. I don’t know if were you around for my nude shoot, although they censored the “parts”.
Something just occurred to me…
Donnie is posing shirtless as the inane second Twilight movie is coming out, coincidence, I THINK NOT!
donnie was almost offered the part of Sam Uley, the Alpha werewolf, but the producers were annoyed by the wolves-howling-at-the-moon shirt he wore to the audition.
There is no way that the three wolf shirt could have been responsible for anything other than awesomeness! Haven’t you read the reviews?
Nice chessset. Is that wood or ivory?
It starts to dawn what has been de inspiration for the modelling of the Mascot.
Don’t mock the office butt. It just shows that humans who evolved to mastering the computer are fitter than those who don’t 🙂 I sure would like to see more of that office butt :p
@Robert: I’ll bet the Mascot stole his motivation from Dr. Life.
@Annie: Since I eat organs and you don’t, does this mean I’m more Chinese?
@Wang/Annie: I did try out for Sam Uley. The problem was that I accidentally wore the two wolf moon shirt, which is 33% less awesome.
@Derek: That’s why we were trying to hire her as a guest blogger. Unfortunately she can command first-round draft pick money.
@Kate: All the more reason I need to put the author’s name at the top of the post.
@Tempo: I’d like to think there’s still an important distinction. The Mascot will go shirtless under the illusion it will attract women. I will go shirtless with full knowledge it will detract women.
@Q: In a couple generations, the descendants of the computer-saavy humans will branch into a new species. This species will be distinguished from homo sapiens by features like atrophied lungs and quicker fingers.
You have ALWAYS had that butt!….but you can pass some of it along to me if you want
Is this an example of porneggrophy? (Or should that be ‘eggnography’?)
ok… that should make the quote rotation. hahhahahahah
@your sister: Not possible! I was 30 pounds lighter in high school…or maybe I never noticed.
@Derek: We did have an example a few years ago, but it’s not something to be proud of.
@Annie: Added. (I didn’t think it was very good, but anything for you, dear.)
Now that I look back through it, the absolute best thing in this thread is George saying “Aaaiiieeee!” , which pegs him as a comic-book reader in the 60s-70s. That’s what comic book bad guys scream when you throw them off the cliff.
(I assume comic- er, graphic novels have upgraded to something more, er graphic.)
Yes, graphic novels probably use “F*#@@!* aaaaiiiieeee!” now. Either that or “Chunky soup!” because someone mistranslated the manga.
I’m watching my daughter toddle around her playroom while flipping through LEP. So amazing that when this was written, she wasn’t even a thought yet! i just happened upon this, exactly two years later. We are a funny bunch, hmm? Haha!