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Here’s your chance to see me shirtless

Posted on November 18, 2009 By Liquid Egg Product 27 Comments on Here’s your chance to see me shirtless
Grilled Cheese

Annie had this idea that if I were to start an exercise regimen, having “before” and “after” pictures would be a good idea.

Today, I post the “before” pictures. In deference to those of you who are eating, you’ll need to click the link to see the pics.

Shirtless from the front

Now I know what a few of you are thinking. “Donnie, it’s not that bad. You could be worse off — you could be me.” Yes, understood. But it feels like when a 1300 rated chessplayer admires my 1600 rating. Sure, it’s OK, but it’s not that good.

Even though my weight is not a problem, my overall living is not that healthy. I don’t exercise and vegetable consumption seems weak.

A side view makes my lack of conditioning more obvious:

Shirtless from the side

My stomach is bigger than my chest, and I have a rather ample “office butt”. Plus it’s obvious my arms have one or maybe two muscles total.

Fortunately, my new apartment complex has a gym handy, so I’ve dived into an exercise regimen. Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday for weightlifting, Monday, Wednesday, Friday for running (or other aerobic activity).

Will I get yoked like Carrot Top? Well, OK, maybe that’s not something to shoot for. In any case, I’m not doing this not for appearance, but for health. A changed physique will be a side-effect, though. And if I end up with a six-pack, that’s nothing to complain about.

Besides, it would be nice not to have to buy clothes at Kids Gap to make my arms look bigger.

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27 thoughts on “Here’s your chance to see me shirtless”

  1. annie says:
    November 18, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    office butt. haha! office butt! i just like saying that.

    speaking of veggie consumption, we should drag you to classic kitchen. great stinky tofu and other very chinese edibles. no english, no problem! 🙂

    Reply
  2. blunderprone says:
    November 18, 2009 at 10:13 pm

    Aaaiiieeee! Carrot top!? (WTF) Arrrggg! I was eating too… make it stop!

    Reply
    1. Allen says:
      November 19, 2009 at 3:06 pm

      Donnie warned you first, “In deference to those of you who are eating, you’ll need to click the link to see the pics.”

      Reply
  3. CMoB says:
    November 18, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    If you want to look like carrot top natural gym excersises won’t work. You’ll have to use anabolic steroids, testosterone and growth hormones and shit.

    Anyway, i can really recommend the following excersise. It’ll get your heart pumping and have you working up a sweat. Great for at home.

    Reply
  4. wang says:
    November 19, 2009 at 4:38 pm

    SO…the sexiest chess blogger pose off has begun!

    I will crush you Donnie, I swear it!!!

    As soon as I finish eating my ice cream lunch…

    Reply
  5. Robert says:
    November 19, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    Look out boys, I may have to get in on this one. While I’m in fair shape for a man of my advanced age, I could use a challenge like this as motivation.

    Donnie, what’s with the socks? These “before” pics should be nothing but a Speedo, right?

    Reply
  6. thryge says:
    November 20, 2009 at 1:29 am

    Short guy complex much?

    Reply
  7. Donnie says:
    November 20, 2009 at 10:56 am

    @Annie: very chinese edibles
    Now I’m wondering what makes them “very Chinese” as opposed to regular Chinese.

    @Blunderprone: I was considering Ed “Guns” Hochuli, but he isn’t as ridiculous.

    @Allen: Absolutely, I have consideration for my readers. It’s not like I post pictures of Manuel Uribe without warning or anything.

    @CMoB: Anabolic steroids and testosterone, no problem. But growth hormones are right out.

    @Wang: If people would actually enter, I would 100% run that contest.

    @Robert: If you’re on that Cenegenics thing, you’re a shoo-in winner for sure.

    @Thryge: Actually, it’s a skinny, awkward, wimpy white guy complex (aka the Shawn Bradley complex). My height is average.

    Reply
  8. Robert says:
    November 20, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    Wow, thanks Donnie, that Dr. Life guy is even older than I am! I will be stepping up even beyond the motivational techniques I learned from the Mascot, along with a healthy dose of TA-65!

    Reply
  9. annie says:
    November 20, 2009 at 3:29 pm

    chinese = stirfried veggies
    very chinese = stuff that smells like raw sewage
    extremely chinese = organs

    by the way I enjoyed a lunch of brown-sugar ham, mashed taters, marshmallow-topped yams, some limey-whippedcream-toasted coconut fluffy stuff, and a coconut creamed pie while gawking at donnie’s office butt. my appetite wasn’t dampened. c’mon blunderprone be a man. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Derek Slater says:
      November 20, 2009 at 10:03 pm

      Annie – don’t tell Donnie I said this but you’re much funnier than he is.

      Reply
    2. blunderprone says:
      November 23, 2009 at 7:37 pm

      Oh contraire Annie: http://bellyjeans.blogspot.com/

      I have my posted my pics there WAY before Donnie

      Reply
  10. Kate Dino says:
    November 20, 2009 at 8:22 pm

    Donnie, I expected a topless spread from the Mascot, but …

    Reply
    1. The Mascot says:
      November 23, 2009 at 10:35 am

      Been there, done that. I don’t know if were you around for my nude shoot, although they censored the “parts”.

      Reply
  11. wang says:
    November 21, 2009 at 1:04 am

    Something just occurred to me…

    Donnie is posing shirtless as the inane second Twilight movie is coming out, coincidence, I THINK NOT!

    Reply
  12. annie says:
    November 21, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    donnie was almost offered the part of Sam Uley, the Alpha werewolf, but the producers were annoyed by the wolves-howling-at-the-moon shirt he wore to the audition.

    Reply
    1. wang says:
      November 23, 2009 at 3:50 am

      There is no way that the three wolf shirt could have been responsible for anything other than awesomeness! Haven’t you read the reviews?

      Reply
  13. Tempo says:
    November 22, 2009 at 6:26 am

    Nice chessset. Is that wood or ivory?

    It starts to dawn what has been de inspiration for the modelling of the Mascot.

    Reply
  14. Q says:
    November 23, 2009 at 6:37 am

    Don’t mock the office butt. It just shows that humans who evolved to mastering the computer are fitter than those who don’t 🙂 I sure would like to see more of that office butt :p

    Reply
  15. Donnie says:
    November 23, 2009 at 10:54 am

    @Robert: I’ll bet the Mascot stole his motivation from Dr. Life.

    @Annie: Since I eat organs and you don’t, does this mean I’m more Chinese?

    @Wang/Annie: I did try out for Sam Uley. The problem was that I accidentally wore the two wolf moon shirt, which is 33% less awesome.

    @Derek: That’s why we were trying to hire her as a guest blogger. Unfortunately she can command first-round draft pick money.

    @Kate: All the more reason I need to put the author’s name at the top of the post.

    @Tempo: I’d like to think there’s still an important distinction. The Mascot will go shirtless under the illusion it will attract women. I will go shirtless with full knowledge it will detract women.

    @Q: In a couple generations, the descendants of the computer-saavy humans will branch into a new species. This species will be distinguished from homo sapiens by features like atrophied lungs and quicker fingers.

    Reply
  16. your sister says:
    November 26, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    You have ALWAYS had that butt!….but you can pass some of it along to me if you want

    Reply
  17. Derek Slater says:
    November 28, 2009 at 11:29 pm

    Is this an example of porneggrophy? (Or should that be ‘eggnography’?)

    Reply
    1. annie says:
      November 29, 2009 at 6:35 am

      ok… that should make the quote rotation. hahhahahahah

      Reply
  18. Donnie says:
    November 29, 2009 at 11:31 am

    @your sister: Not possible! I was 30 pounds lighter in high school…or maybe I never noticed.

    @Derek: We did have an example a few years ago, but it’s not something to be proud of.

    @Annie: Added. (I didn’t think it was very good, but anything for you, dear.)

    Reply
  19. Derek Slater says:
    December 1, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    Now that I look back through it, the absolute best thing in this thread is George saying “Aaaiiieeee!” , which pegs him as a comic-book reader in the 60s-70s. That’s what comic book bad guys scream when you throw them off the cliff.

    (I assume comic- er, graphic novels have upgraded to something more, er graphic.)

    Reply
    1. Donnie says:
      December 3, 2009 at 10:25 pm

      Yes, graphic novels probably use “F*#@@!* aaaaiiiieeee!” now. Either that or “Chunky soup!” because someone mistranslated the manga.

      Reply
  20. annie says:
    November 30, 2011 at 1:02 am

    I’m watching my daughter toddle around her playroom while flipping through LEP. So amazing that when this was written, she wasn’t even a thought yet! i just happened upon this, exactly two years later. We are a funny bunch, hmm? Haha!

    Reply

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