Whither online relationships? This article discusses some of the issues, such as inside a virtual world like Second Life.
If someone already has a real life relationship, I don’t see how this isn’t cheating. If someone feels s/he has to hide the relationship from the significant other, that should be a friggin’ huge red flag.
Although I have no personal experience, some people have approached me in WoW (my main is female). People will tell me from time to time that my character is sexy and/or try to flirt. One guy even tried to “get it on” in an auction house with scores of other people in the room. I didn’t respond. (Being somewhat kid-friendly, WoW does not have any mechanisms for nudity or sexual actions. But you can’t stop words and emotes.)
Only one guy has ever bothered to ask whether I were female in real life. He actually seemed very nice, and I felt a little bad for dashing his hopes. Yes, technically, it’s an assumption that he was male in real life.
I’m not sure I agree that an SL relationship should necessarily be considered cheating. It depends on how it affects the real world relationship, time commitments, etc. Provided the real world relationship allows for each partner to have agreed upon alone time, I don’t think it’s any of the partner’s business how that time should be spent.
We’d better start to confront to questions like this, because there will soon be a vast increase in the proliferation of available personalities. Both avatars, like in SL, and fully automated artificial ones. 15-20 years from now, there will most likely be life-sized real-world pleasure robots.
Unless humans devise a new protocol for relationships, these developments are bound to cause consternation to those who are used to being the center of attention for their human partners. Why do most of us feel the only acceptable and legitimate mode of relationship is to get everything we want from just one other person?
Every time someone/something else serves a role that your sig other/spouse SHOULD serve…it’s a problem. It’s not that we HAVE to get EVERYTHING from just ONE person, ’cause seriously, that’s dumb. But we shouldn’t treat EVERY person like The One. This is how artificial things like SL become too real for their own good. and I’m tired.
@BlackSun: Alone time is definitely important (being somewhat hermit-ish myself, I will certainly expect to receive and give a level of understand). But there should be some expectation that nothing unseemingly’s going on.
As far as most of us expecting one-to-one…Annie stated it well. That expectation is reinforced by the forces of biology, society, and religion. The details of that statement could fill several posts (which would get away from the silliness of this site). You seem well-read and perceptive enough to have an understanding of what I’m
saying, though.
@Annie: Well said, and get some sleep.
Donnie, I agree there should be nothing unseemly going on, (if that’s the governing agreement) which is why I don’t think an SL relationship is a problem. If and when it begins to impact the real life relationship timewise, then it’s up for a second look. How many SL relationships turn into real ones? I don’t think the number is very high. And after all, the person could just as easily be trolling the personals for a new real life relationship. If there isn’t trust between people, no amount of rules will make the difference.
The one-on-one relationship style still doesn’t mean you have to get all your emotional needs met by that person. Most people in relationships have same-sex friends, and that’s not usually seen as problematic except by the most codependent and possessive people. Likewise, an SL relationship should be able to be managed to not be any more intrusive.
Good discussion, though. Like I said, I think this will become more of a factor as time moves on and I think people will have to start dealing with some higher levels of emotional sophistication and move forward with more inclusive relationship styles.
Think we’re actually seeing things pretty closely. It helps if both parties understand what the other expects out of the relationship. Can prevent problems later.