Skip to content
Liquid Egg Product

Liquid Egg Product

  • Home
  • Bad Movie Night
  • It’s Bad Movie Night. Ho, ho, oh….

It’s Bad Movie Night. Ho, ho, oh….

Posted on August 11, 2007 By Liquid Egg Product 3 Comments on It’s Bad Movie Night. Ho, ho, oh….
Bad Movie Night

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Thankfully, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians stars John Call
Thankfully, the movie stars John Call. Otherwise, it might have sucked.
Santa sets a good example by smoking a cigar
Ho, ho, ho! Santa smokes, and so should you!

Why should you watch it?

  • Plenty of stock footage of the US Air Force
  • The dubbing’s better than in Mafia vs Ninja
  • Understand why this movie is Guantanamo-approved

If you’re looking for a Santa who kicks Martian butt with his toys, this a’int it. He gets innocent children to do that (seriously). The only way Santa could kill any Martians is to give them lung cancer from his cigar smoking.

There’s a character named “Winky the Elf”. Kids on Mars can get reception for TV programs on Earth. The evil villain has a thick mustache. Martians also speak English and eat chocolate, bananas, and hamburgers. I don’t want to spend more time writing about this. I’m IM’ing friends to recover IQ right now. Here are some screenshots with pithy captions. (And you can click on them for a larger size!)

SCCtM’s convincing polar bear
I’m absolutely convinced this is not a man in a polar bear suit…
SCCtM’s convincing robot
…and that this is not a man in a cardboard box with fake dials painted on
SCCtM:  space ship
That’s a spaceship going through space. Allegedly.
It’s a good thing they skimped on the speling, too.
They probably caught this mistake, but didn’t have the budget to redo it.
The one on the left is hamburger
The one on the left is Martian hamburger.
Howard C. Forman’s off the hook.  I want to punch this guy in the face.
It would be merrier watching Santa With Muscles instead.

Post navigation

❮ Previous Post: No one can beat the Heat
Next Post: They forgot one ❯

3 thoughts on “It’s Bad Movie Night. Ho, ho, oh….”

  1. chessloser says:
    August 12, 2007 at 1:27 pm

    that movie was awesome….i think mst3k did an episode about it, and it’s been mentioned in a john waters book. it’s everywhere, yet nowwhere…

    Reply
  2. annie says:
    August 13, 2007 at 1:22 am

    tsk tsk …. it’s ok. not nearly as much damage as would have been done sniffing glue or chewing vicodin tablets. although if you wanted a dumb movie without the damage, you coulda rented dude where’s my car, or bad santa if you just really wanted a santa fix. lesson learned. am I going to have to put on baby einstein for you when you get here? ai-ya. (although I read that baby einstein isn’t much better than this santa flick)

    Reply
  3. Donnie Briggs says:
    August 13, 2007 at 2:37 pm

    cl: If mst3k didn’t do this movie, they should have.

    Annie: I’m willing to attempt to sit through that movie as long as at least one other person endures it with me. As you mentioned before, it’s not like there’s a heck of a lot else to do in Houston anyway.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Posts

  • 2020 was so bad, we didn’t make a single post
  • Monday Fighter!
  • King Safety
  • So, no rematch?
  • Estimate how much this cost

Recent Comments

  • Q on 2020 was so bad, we didn’t make a single post
  • annie on 2020 was so bad, we didn’t make a single post
  • annie on One could argue he’d make a poor preacher
  • annie on Monday Fighter!
  • Q on Monday Fighter!

Archives

  • January 2021
  • February 2019
  • November 2018
  • September 2018
  • June 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • March 2016
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007

Categories

  • Babes & Alleged Babes
  • Bad Ads
  • Bad Movie Night
  • Blog News
  • Burning Agony
  • CG
  • Chess
  • Computer-fu
  • Corridors & Creatures
  • Eggony
  • Eggs Vs Humans
  • Entertainment
  • Gaming
  • Grilled Cheese
  • History
  • In the News
  • Mascot for President
  • Mathematics
  • Monday Fighter!
  • North Korea
  • Patently Ineffective
  • Random
  • Religion
  • Science/Technology
  • Snake Oil
  • Sports
  • Tournament of Lepers
  • Uncategorized
  • Uncomfortability
  • Weaksauce Losers

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2021 Liquid Egg Product.

Theme: Oceanly by ScriptsTown