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It’s not an excuse, it’s a reason

Posted on March 4, 2009 By The Mascot 7 Comments on It’s not an excuse, it’s a reason
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Yesterday, Donnie once again threatened to fire me (he never follows through so it’s not like I’m scared.) Yes, I’ve been lax on the posts BUT I have a realy good reason, per this secretly recording conversation:

: How dare you threaten me! I have a legitimate medical excuse for not working.

: You didn’t tell me that! So what happened?

: Here’s the doctor’s note.

: Let’s see…”gained 15 lbs in the last 6 months”…”causing mental distress, emotional imbalance”…”lack of confidence”…

: Right. So I can’t work.

: …

: What’s wrong?

: This reads like a bad lawsuit.

: What? How dare you. I’ve even developed an action plan to deal with this!

: Really.

: On msn.com they had this tip to lose weight: “Rocky stared at a picture of Ivan Drago every day as he trained to fight the enormous Russian. Find your own motivator: a nemesis like a picture of the way you never want to look.” So I put up a picture of you on my bathroom mirror.

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7 thoughts on “It’s not an excuse, it’s a reason”

  1. annie says:
    March 5, 2009 at 2:35 am

    in 2007 i swore to flatten my tummy, so i printed out a picture of her from bend it like beckham and put it on top of the TV in our guest room. it actually worked for a few weeks, I did three months solid of working out. then my mother in law came over, saw it, and asked carlos “does she… *like* her?”

    I took it down after that.

    Reply
    1. annie says:
      March 5, 2009 at 2:38 am

      her being kiera knightley. it’s late.

      Reply
  2. Donnie says:
    March 5, 2009 at 10:05 am

    Taking it down would confirm her fears, though, right? Seems like it’s better just to leave it up and show you’re not experiencing any uncomfortability.

    So did Carlos not attempt to explain why she was up there? Actually, I could imagine him leaving her in the dark just for kicks.

    Reply
  3. Donnie says:
    March 5, 2009 at 10:08 am

    I have a realy good reason, per this secretly recording conversation

    l2english n00b

    Reply
  4. Robert says:
    March 6, 2009 at 10:16 pm

    Annie, so are you saying Kiera Knightley was your “nemesis,” of the way you never want to look? My dear late Grandpa used to refer to women like Miss Knightley as “slightly undershot,” a dog-breeding term, but you get the idea. I don’t think I’ve seen any of her movies…wait, Pirates of the Caribbean, right? Except I can hardly remember her. So I looked on a Google search and all I can say is…probable bulimia. Glad you took the pic down!

    Mascot, you’ve always been my motivational sensei. Remember the the weight training advice you gave me last year? Gold, dude. pure gold.

    Reply
    1. annie says:
      March 9, 2009 at 12:32 pm

      hahah ms knightley hasn’t done anything to merit a spot on my enemies list; however the photo-as-motivator paradigm is certainly effective. until someone thinks you’re a lesbian.

      Reply
    2. The Mascot says:
      March 10, 2009 at 9:53 am

      Robert: I know. It really sounds like I need to take my own advice. Get back my abs of steel. Looks like I need to start looking up to you instead!

      Annie: What, you’re lesbian? No wonder you were resisting my advances.

      Reply

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