Skip to content
Liquid Egg Product

Liquid Egg Product

  • Home
  • Bad Ads
  • My new gig

My new gig

Posted on January 29, 2008 By The Mascot 14 Comments on My new gig
Bad Ads

Over the weekend, I did some thinking and I just needed to face facts: as much as I enjoy you guys fawning over me, I’m just not making enough money. So now I’m working on becoming the official spokesman for the new “diet” company on the market, Mass Managers™! (Their slogan is “Stop Dieting. Start Losing.”; it’s not really a diet, it teaches you how to eat.)

Mass Managers promo

Don’t worry; I’ll still be here, it’s not like Mass Managers™ is a full-time job– it’s mainly posing with weights, smiling bigger in the “after” picture, and tricking people into thinking that Mass Managers™ changed my entire life around. The good thing is that they don’t even make me put on make-up because my face is already perfect.

(Note from Donnie: I’m not really awake right now. Thanks for your understanding.)

Post navigation

❮ Previous Post: Adventures on FICS
Next Post: Shy guys ❯

14 thoughts on “My new gig”

  1. annie says:
    January 29, 2008 at 2:02 am

    all I saw of the first lines were “face facts: I’m just not making enough money”. my heart stopped. I thought you were pulling liquid egg product. I imagined work days filled with… work. no monday fighters. no oblong toothy face training its beady eyes on me. no chess games. OH THE HUMANITY.

    thank God I kept reading. Donnie you really weren’t awake, you signed the wrong name on the post, you schizo. 🙂

    Reply
  2. Donnie says:
    January 29, 2008 at 4:02 am

    FIXED, thank you. Time to sleep.

    ADDENDUM: I scolded the Mascot for signing my name to his post. (OOC: I was too tired to even find a way to stay in character.)

    Reply
  3. chessloser says:
    January 29, 2008 at 5:53 pm

    dude, that mass managers really worked, i can see it in the picture.

    Reply
  4. Blunderprone says:
    January 30, 2008 at 12:42 am

    So all that weight lifting… made your arms longer?

    Reply
  5. Sworn Enemy :) says:
    January 30, 2008 at 3:00 am

    Wow, look at the clever use of perspective on the dumbbell in Mascot’s left hand! Unless… it’s just a lopsided dumbbell.

    Reply
  6. Donnie says:
    January 30, 2008 at 8:32 am

    Um…are you sure this Mass Managers is a real company, or is someone just making fun of Weight Watchers? I just Googled mass managers and this post is the second link, so they most definitely have no web presence.

    Reply
  7. Allen says:
    January 30, 2008 at 9:57 am

    I think Mass Managers is a creative attempt to sell M&M candies as a weight loss product.

    Reply
  8. The Mascot says:
    January 30, 2008 at 10:41 am

    chessloser: Of course, it’s obvious, right? Just looking at it, doesn’t it make you want to jump into a free 14-day trial of Mass Managers™?

    blunderprone: Any schmoe can lift weights…my new sexy body shape is because of the power of Mass Managers™.

    caroline: Of course, there’s perspective, it’s a photo. Did you think they just Photoshopped the weights in there? Maybe you’d get a better perspective on life if you dedicated yourself to Mass Managers™.

    donnie: Shut up, you. Your puny assertions are mocked by the geniuses over at Mass Managers™.

    allen: You too. Shut up, you don’t know about the powers you’re dealing with, including the masses of people that will attribute the bodily perfection you can obtain with Mass Managers™.

    Reply
  9. Allen says:
    January 30, 2008 at 11:33 am

    so basically the mascot went from appendages the size of twigs to appendages the size of toothpicks. I don’t see the appeal of Mass Managers

    Reply
  10. Donnie says:
    January 31, 2008 at 12:41 am

    I don’t either, but when they’re paying you $$$$…er, make that something that has value like ££££…you dance to the tune, man.

    Reply
  11. Allen says:
    January 31, 2008 at 9:57 am

    The tune better be a jig

    Reply
  12. Donnie says:
    January 31, 2008 at 11:16 am

    You should hear the Mass Managers jingle. If I can get permission, I’ll post it.

    Reply
  13. Wahrheit says:
    January 31, 2008 at 12:48 pm

    All joking aside, the Mascot has never looked better than in the photo at right, I mean it’s okay to be skeptical but he’s showing results here, be a little supportive of someone trying to better himself and live the American dream, people!

    Reply
  14. Allen says:
    January 31, 2008 at 4:04 pm

    Clearly you don’t remember the Mascot dressed as Julius Caesar.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Posts

  • 2020 was so bad, we didn’t make a single post
  • Monday Fighter!
  • King Safety
  • So, no rematch?
  • Estimate how much this cost

Recent Comments

  • Q on 2020 was so bad, we didn’t make a single post
  • annie on 2020 was so bad, we didn’t make a single post
  • annie on One could argue he’d make a poor preacher
  • annie on Monday Fighter!
  • Q on Monday Fighter!

Archives

  • January 2021
  • February 2019
  • November 2018
  • September 2018
  • June 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • March 2016
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007

Categories

  • Babes & Alleged Babes
  • Bad Ads
  • Bad Movie Night
  • Blog News
  • Burning Agony
  • CG
  • Chess
  • Computer-fu
  • Corridors & Creatures
  • Eggony
  • Eggs Vs Humans
  • Entertainment
  • Gaming
  • Grilled Cheese
  • History
  • In the News
  • Mascot for President
  • Mathematics
  • Monday Fighter!
  • North Korea
  • Patently Ineffective
  • Random
  • Religion
  • Science/Technology
  • Snake Oil
  • Sports
  • Tournament of Lepers
  • Uncategorized
  • Uncomfortability
  • Weaksauce Losers

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2021 Liquid Egg Product.

Theme: Oceanly by ScriptsTown