One night last week, I needed to get food supplies, but was still unfamiliar with the area. Figuring there’s got to be something nearby, I drove down Gessner until seeing Hong Kong Food Market. It was a supermarket, so I stopped in.
This was one of the signs at the front door to greet customers:
NO SHIRT
NO SHOES
NO SKATE
NO CAMERAThese we do not allow in store
Naturally, I rushed right in to check it out, forgetting to take off my own shirt and shoes. Who wouldn’t want to shop at a place where everyone’s forced to go topless? Needless to say, I was bitterly disappointed to find out it was merely a case of Engrish and not official store policy.
Yesterday, my friend and I had a chat about supermarkets, contrasting the somewhat ritzy Randall’s vs other places:
A: at randalls there’s never too long a wait and the staff there will actualy help you. and there’s a starbucks and a fireplace and a living room.
Me: Sounds like luxury. Last night, I went to Hong Kong Food Market (ironically, run by Vietnamese). The cashier had a full-blown conversation with someone and did not speak or look at me except to say “Debit or Credit?” I’m kinda afraid to ask for help there, though. They’ll probably misunderstand my English, think I said their code word for “cocaine” or “prostitute”, and send me to the back to get the illicit goods.
A couple of the products:
Kung Fu Ramen! Recommended by your local Shaolin temple! By the way, anyone want some free incandescent light bulbs?
Awesome! A margin of error indicated on the contents! (Yes, this is why I bought this particular brand of tempura.)
does eating that ramen give you kung fu grip? do you need kung fu grip to hold the bowl while you eat? does david carradine come over and make the ramen for you? that product lends itself to such a vast array of humor.
Hahaha!
Sir, you have inspired me as only the best and brightest are capable of; see here
You are an inspiration, see here
I hope my previous efforts to provide a link are not showing because this comment box doesn’t do html, but for an offshoot of your inspiring work, see http://www.eternityroad.info/index.php/weblog/single/the_plus_minus_or_truth_in_labeling/
How much was it for a pack of those noodles?
Houston has a wide variety of people and grocery stores. In the old days I used to consider Randall’s a tourist destination.
Jamail’s (no longer around), Central Market, and Rice Epicurean all out-Randall’s Randall’s. H.E.B.’s can be very nice (they have a range from smallish up to Central Market).
Fiesta is an international party.
Hong Kong Market has FRESH fish and fresh lobster (still swimming) and shellfish. The big one is on Bellaire near Boone. You went to the small one on Gessner.
How do you like those street signs on Bellaire?
Well. Color me dork. There is a new HEB opening where I live – WITH a Central Market cafe. We went there at 1030 tonight to check it out. It opens tomorrow (well, today) at 6AM. Guess where we will be at 555AM…
The nice thing about Asian grocery stores is the freshness. You want a fish, they’ll bop one on the head and bag it in ice for you, still twitching. The ginger root still carries damp dirt from wherever it was plucked. Veggies are crisp and green.
The bad thing about Asian grocery stores – the smell. Between the herbs and the seafood and sometimes, the incense… bleh.
I do love grocery shopping on Bellaire. I have mixed feelings about the street signs. I’m all for globalization, but for pete’s sake, learn English – or at least engrish. You don’t see English street signs in China!
@chessloser: That David Carradine gag is going to make me laugh for a few days.
@ookwelbekendalsemc: Glad you were entertained.
@Wahrheit: Electable politicians need that ±99%. They just can’t say it, or it would sound weird. (Or, perhaps, the education here has become so poor, that a lot of people wouldn’t get it anyway.)
@Allen: 39 cents, and you get what you pay for. Shin Ramyun is better.
@Tacticus: One of the reasons I love my location is quick access to international foods: Chinatown to the west, Middle Eastern/Indian to the east. Just need to find some Caribbean stuff.
My family used to like going to Fiesta for all the stuff that they have. Even though I’ve seen Bellaire before, I still do a double-take sometimes.
@Annie: Really? They smell bad? Maybe I haven’t been to a good one yet.
You do see English street signs in Japan. Seems pretty accommodating.
Are you all abbreviating HE Butt or did they finally change the official name?
Donnie, what’s up with you and your Asian-inflected cuisine? Chicken feet, ramen, mushroom potstickers, tempura. Forgive me if you’ve explained before. I know chessloser and DK have both lived overseas for a time.
Anyway, ‘Have a burger, son, you in Texas now.’ 🙂
@Derek: That’s interesting. Since I first was aware of HEB about 11 years ago, that’s all I’ve known it as. It was several years before I bothered to find out what it stood for. (It also gives an interesting meaning to their generic soda “Dr. B”)
For a long time, I’ve favored foreign cuisine in general; in particular, Asian, Caribbean, and Indian. My dad’s a native of the Caribbean, and starting in high school I’ve had a high percentage of Asian friends. That probably has something to do with it.
Very cool.
I had goat once at a Caribbean restaurant in Worcester, Mass. Don’t remember much about it. Musta been okay.
Loaded up on Mexican when I lived in Houston – Ninfa’s in particular. And another one I can never recall.
This year I was forced to take my daughter to a “princess party” at her friend’s house. I dreaded it (buncha little girls, I dunno, fish out of water) until I arrived and found that the family was Indian and they had set up a home-cooked buffet for the adults. Killer, just fantastic.
Now I’m hungry. Hmph.
I once did a video for an Asian supermarket and found kungfu ramen and it amused me, see if you can spot it: http://www.chinatownconnection.com/golden-foods.htm
Click “Virtual Tour” on the left.
@Derek: In my mind, goat is a slightly better beef. Ninfa’s isn’t bad, but haven’t been there in a while.
More birthday parties should be run like that…
@Sworn Enemy: Thank you for dashing my hopes by directing me to a password-protected video.
@Wahrheit: I can’t believe you were trapped by the spam filter! I decided to release your prior posts for amusement value.
They are more amusing when grouped, you inspiring inspiration, inspiration, etc.
I’ve been around Dallas and H-E-B is decent. I can also vouch for Whataburger if your going to eat a burger on the run in Texas er, son. Decent size, and has a less fast food-ish feel to their food (say that four times fast.) than say, mcdonalds. Get the cheeseburger plain and dry or the bacon cheesburger plain and dry or the whatachicken plain and dry. Excellent fries. Did I mention I like food a bit much maybe? Oh and huge drink sizes.
@Wahrheit: Hopefully the spam filter fight you again!
@l3rucewayne: I’m not much of a burger guy, but Whataburger is one of the places I’d go to. Whataburger’s patties aren’t greasy, so they have a bit different feel to them. I like a simple burger with lettuce and light mayo.
Jack-in-the-Box I feel some loyalty to because of their hosting the Waco Chess Club. (Plus I love their commercials.) Their Ciabatta sandwiches are interesting, but that’s a place that is unashamed to be completely unhealthy. But it’s better than McDonald’s pretending you can get a truly healthy meal there.
So there ARE other people who don’t like mcdonalds. I just knew it. Yes jack-in-the-box commercials are top shelf. (I pride myself on my advertisement critiquing skills.)
Donnie.. did you ever get that Jack in the Box thing for your car antenna?
@l3rucewayne: Never get their McChicken (that 99 cent chicken sandwich). It’s very close to being the worst food on the planet. Not all their stuff is that bad, though.
One of these days, we’re going to have to have a commerical critique day. Except I don’t really watch enough TV to have any input.
@Allen: Actually, I’ve gotten it twice before. Mysteriously disappeared. There are three possible explanations:
1. It fell off (unlikely)
2. Someone stole it (why?????)
3. One of my friends was embarrassed that I’d actually ride around with it, so threw it away (if they’d read this site, they’d know I’ve no qualms about being a public embarrassment)
Anyway, I will get another one, though and see if it sticks.