Yay! It’s me, everyone’s favorite egg, the Liquid Egg Product Mascot, and I’m out of the hospital. Whoopee! (Check out my recent picture at the top right. I look as good as new!)
Anyway, um, Donnie said I should write about some relevant, newsworthy topic, so let’s see…oh, Isiah [sic] Thomas. He’s always fun!
Isiah [sic] Thomas and the Madison Square Garden were found guilty of sexual harassing former MSG executive Anucha Browne Sanders, and the Garden has to cough up over $10 million. If the judge really wants to make a statement, he’ll make MSG pay in euros instead of dollars.
Isiah [sic] Thomas needs to hire some smart lawyers next time.
The slam-dunk ruling in Manhattan Federal Court was stunning setback for Thomas and MSG boss James Dolan, whose lawyers were so confident of winning they wrapped up their defense early – and didn’t bother putting their last six witnesses on the stand.
Idiots. Here’s all they had to do: they’re defense lawyers, which means they’re scum anyway. They had nothing to lose by going the lowbrow route:
Defense lawyer: Your honor, I called Ms. Sanders to the stand not to question her, but to make sure everyone sees her in good lighting conditions.
Judge: And what relevance does this have to the case?
Defense lawyer: The relevance, your honor, is this: does she look like a woman anyone, much less Isiah [sic] Thomas, would want to sexually harass?
Judge: [ponders briefly, then throws down the gavel] Case dismissed.
That would have convinced me.