When the time comes for me to get married, there’s always the issue of massive planning and making sure everything’s perfect for the bride. Because as we know, the wedding’s a girl thing. As guys, our job is to:
- Say “Yes, dear,” when the fiance makes a suggestion.
- Play golf up to one hour before the wedding. (Well, I don’t like golf, so I’ll stick with chess.)
One part of the planning could be very easy for me: my grandfather’s a pastor, so he’d be able to perform the ceremony, and he did do my sister’s wedding last year. Not to spurn family, but I would have to decline his services if he so offered.
You see, there’s this other guy who I’d love to perform the ceremony. You may have heard of him; his name is Tom Cruise. Apparently, he’s reached the highest levels of Scientology by taking the “cream” and the “clear”. Or something like that. This apparently means he act as some sort of priest, and rumor has it that he could perform a wedding for a friend.
I’m saving my money from now for what will hopefully be a glorious day. Who knows, maybe Xenu will tag along, and I’ll get to meet him in person.
Grandpa doesn’t offer; he waits to be asked. So no problem.
Let us know when Tom contacts you. Maybe you two can share books on scientology.
Here’s a reference of how the wedding may go:
http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Secrets/TomCruise/wedding-ceremony.html
Grandma: Will keep in mind. Mostly, the story was for effect.
none: He seemed insulted when I pulled out my Scientology collection from the box labeled “comedy”.
I wish i had a grandpa who could have performed our ceremony. As it was the pastor hardly knew us but he gave a beautiful message.
I think when it’s my time, I’ll just get someone to do this.