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The Fail Garden

Posted on October 6, 2008 By Liquid Egg Product 9 Comments on The Fail Garden
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First, I should blame my parents for indirectly instilling the urge to undertake this: my dad for having me help with gardening growing up and my mom for making me more aware of the stuff I put in my body.

This weekend, I started what will be dubbed “The Fail Garden” (cf. the Victory Gardens of the World Wars). Primarily, this is due to my lack of expertise and I fully expect most of the plants to produce little to nothing.

I live in an apartment without a yard, but have the great advantage of having windows with a southern exposure. This makes an indoor vegetable garden a more plausible endeavor.

Empty milk jugs make great plant containers
Empty milk jugs make for perfect plant containers if you don’t mind looking cheap.

As far as what to plant? I needed to plant stuff that could conceivably grow–and at the same time stuff I actually use. Some good candidates, like beets and radishes, I simply don’t eat enough to really want to grow.

I decided to go with 3 herbs (basil, cilantro, and spearmint) and 4 veggies (lettuce, spinach, carrots, green onions). Should have thought of tomatoes, too.

Mushrooms I cook with a lot, but as I try to go light on the A/C, the place is too warm for their optimal growth. Maybe this winter.

The tall one\'s for the carrots
The tall one’s for the carrots

OK, so I’m already bored of writing this. To make a long story short, I had to go to three places before finding seeds filled up the pots and got everything sowed.

With the cilantro, I bought one of those “Herbs for Noobs” type packages where they pretty much have everything in one package; you just add water and you’re good to go.

Expectations are low: I expect the cilantro, one of the other 4 pots of herbs, and maybe one of the 7 pots of vegetables to make it.

The seeds I used, plus the herbs for noobs package
The seeds I used, plus the herbs for noobs package
Water, feed, and hope
Water, feed, and hope

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9 thoughts on “The Fail Garden”

  1. l3rucewayne says:
    October 6, 2008 at 9:03 pm

    Only you can make a decent sized blog post on indoor-milk-jug-gardening entertaining.

    Reply
  2. blunderprone says:
    October 6, 2008 at 9:08 pm

    What? No egg cartons? Great seed starters. But then again, you’d have to buy some eggs and … you know… make use of them or have them party with the Mascot and Mr. E

    Reply
  3. annie says:
    October 6, 2008 at 10:24 pm

    I fully expect spearmint mojitos and guacamole with fresh cilantro next year.

    “ok so i’m already tired of writing this”.. I don’t know know why but that is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time. Maybe it’s the visual of you cutting milk cartons and then typing, then cutting some more and getting tired.

    Reply
  4. Q says:
    October 6, 2008 at 11:21 pm

    Wow, I love the milk carton/duct tape combo. “The tall one’s for the carrots.” That’s hilarious. What’s the chart attached to the cartons used for? Why doesn’t the noob herb pot get a chart?

    Reply
  5. Sworn Enemy :) says:
    October 7, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    Maybe the growth / death of the plants could be used to forecast the outcome of the presidential election.

    Or maybe we should all start placing bets. I’m betting on N00b herb pot and basil making it.

    Reply
  6. Derek Slater says:
    October 7, 2008 at 4:22 pm

    fun!

    Reply
  7. Allen says:
    October 7, 2008 at 6:02 pm

    How would go about tomatoes indoors anyway? They’re vine plants, no?

    Reply
  8. Carson says:
    October 7, 2008 at 7:01 pm

    I grew 0.11 acres of vegetables this year and we put about 150 quarts of them in the freezer. Your garden sounds like a lot more fun. I might try that next year.

    Reply
  9. Donnie says:
    October 8, 2008 at 9:30 am

    @l3rucewayne: Glad you remain entertained by boring aspects of my personal life.

    @Blunderprone: Starting seeds and then having to transplant them? Too much work.

    @Annie: Next year? Won’t take nearly that long. The veggies are 45-120 days, the herbs even less I think.

    @Q: The charts are to keep track of maintenance (fertilizing, transplanting, etc)

    The noob herb chart fell on the floor…it’s there.

    @Caro: I’ll see your tofu and raise you a head of lettuce.

    @Derek: Response! (There wasn’t much to respond to there.)

    @Allen: There are plastic rods specifically designed to handle such plants…just wrap them around, and it’s good.

    @Carson: I might be having more fun, but I’ll only end up with about 1.5 quarts.

    Reply

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