Dear Readers:
If you tried to visit late Saturday and most of Sunday, you saw some placeholder page that said the domain liquideggproduct.com had expired. As it turns out, Management had entered an incorrect address for the credit card when trying to renew the domain name.
Fortunately, someone else in the Company noticed, re-submitted billing information, and renewed the domain for 5 years.
Next time, I hope someone competent and responsible will be placed in charge of such matters.
Sincerely,
The Mascot
It’s the proverbial Rot at the Top, the Peter Principle, whatever you want to call it. Executives just can’t do a thing right. As Michael J. Fox said in some movie, as soon as a guy puts a tie on it cuts off the oxygen to his brain.
Maybe LEP should downsize, restructure, and opt for a flatter management structure.
Oh, yeah, and while you’re at it, reposition your brand and refocus on your core competencies. Draft mission and vision statements and get buy-in on them from all employees, for without those things no enterprise can possibly know what it’s doing. That’s a turnaround strategy if ever I’ve heard one.
Those are some great ideas. Well, mostly. The downsizing wouldn’t be so good, ’cause I’m the only employee here, so there would be some problems there.
But the flatter management structure…that would rock. Instead of Donnie, President/CEO -> Mascot, Peon, it would be Mascot and Donnie, co-owners and presidents. And CIOs.
Or even better…we could rename the website The Mascot’s World-Famus Egg-Operated Liquid Egg Product blog, featuring Donnie. (Hope no one minded I stole from Bill Simmons there.)
Mascot, I think this would be a better title:
The Mascot’s World-Famus Egg-Operated Liquid Egg Product blog with castmember: Donnie.
Featuring implies that he’s a showcased guest. Castmember is just a regular.
@Tom: *Eyes glaze* This plan…er…is not suitable for implementation at this point in time.
@Allen and Mascot: Well, if we’re going to marginalize my role, why not go all the way and not even bother to mention my name? Something like The Mascot’s World-Famous Egg-Operated Liquid Egg Product blog and friends?
You guys both spelled “Famous” wrong.
That was so freaking me out.
“The Mascot’s World-Famous Egg-Operated Liquid Egg Product blog and team” makes more sense. The mascot doesn’t qualify as a friend if he made an assassination attempt.
@Donnie: People with a stake in the old order are understandably reluctant to embrace paradigm shifts. In addition to the recommendations above, I’d also suggest hiring a corporate change agent with a good track record and a suitably touchy-feeling management style. They can usually be had for under $250,000/year plus stock options, golden parachutes, and all the usual perks. It’s well worth it. Hire the right person and she’ll have everybody singing out of the same hymnal in no time. Or else. It’s very liberating.
Currently, company decisions are made based on the democratic principle “one man, one vote”. More specifically, I’m the man, so I have the vote.
As much as employee and customer input is appreciated, the company must make difficult decisions in this cycle of economic downturn. Thank you.
Isn’t the mascot at least the male version of an egg? Doesn’t that entitle him to like half a vote?