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The Mascot sucks

Posted on September 20, 2007 By Liquid Egg Product 10 Comments on The Mascot sucks
Entertainment, Weaksauce Losers

The Mascot’s pathetic attack
The Mascot continued to shout piratey inanities even after I parried his assassination attempt.

I must apologize for yesterday, when the Mascot filled in for me. It looks like all he did was say “ye” every other word and “Arrrr” every other sentence. Plus he was supposed to respond to your comments, which he never did, so I will get around to doing so in his stead.

He wasn’t kidding about trying to kill me. After getting back home last night, the Mascot jumped out from behind a bush sort of dressed like Captain Morgan and brandishing a cutlass. He started blabbering stuff like “It be servin’ ye right if ye get killed by a mutineerin’ pirate,” and other such nonsense. The only reason I couldn’t kick his butt is because he doesn’t have one. He’s a completely inept fighter and is currently receiving care at whatever hospital eggs go to when they need surgery.

I doubt the Mascot will make a return anytime soon, but he is under contract, so I might as well get as much mileage out of him as possible.

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10 thoughts on “The Mascot sucks”

  1. Allen says:
    September 20, 2007 at 9:17 am

    How does a person er… well uhm being hold a cutlass with two stubs for hands?

    Reply
  2. chessloser says:
    September 20, 2007 at 1:03 pm

    overall, all things considered, i think the mascot did a pretty good job…

    Reply
  3. Donnie says:
    September 20, 2007 at 1:07 pm

    @Allen: Probably the same way Homestar Runner does.

    @Chessloser: I’ll pass on the message; it’ll probably make him feel a little better.

    Reply
  4. l3rucewayne says:
    September 21, 2007 at 4:02 am

    That is too bad,I really liked him. If it makes any difference, I don’t hold it against him for attacking you.
    :-Djk

    Reply
  5. Donnie says:
    September 21, 2007 at 10:24 am

    LOL. Apparently, more people want to see more of the Mascot than not. He’ll be making future appearances, but it might be a few weeks, because I want to be careful not to overuse him.

    (Besides, he’s still in the hospital.)

    Reply
  6. annie says:
    September 21, 2007 at 11:00 am

    Eh. I could do without him. Maybe for holidays and Christmas. He did as well as could be expected. After all it must be hard to type when all you have are black lines for appendages.

    Speaking of black lines for appendages, how do we know LEP is a he? đŸ™‚

    Reply
  7. l3rucewayne says:
    September 21, 2007 at 10:03 pm

    Yay!

    Reply
  8. LEP Mascot says:
    September 22, 2007 at 5:59 am

    Hey, Annie!

    I told Donnie to start getting friends with better taste. But you’ve never met me in person, so maybe that’s the problem. Are you cute? I can show you how much I can do with my “appendage”…

    Reply
  9. Donnie says:
    September 22, 2007 at 6:00 am

    Stop hitting on my married friends.

    Reply
  10. annie says:
    September 22, 2007 at 11:34 pm

    HAHAHAHAHA nice one, Eggie. Actually I *am* pretty cute. But I can see why you are still single.

    Reply

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