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The truth about the Knights Errant

Posted on November 8, 2009 By The Mascot 22 Comments on The truth about the Knights Errant
Chess, History, Religion

I’m sorry to have to do this. Some of you will be very angry after reading this, but there are a handful of chess bloggers who have intentionally deceived the rest of us as to their motives for blogging.

Yes, it has to do with some members of the Knights Errant.

I had to pretend to become a worshipper of de la Maza to find out the hidden secrets of this mysterious order.

History:

The Knights Errant was founded in 1320, shortly after the fall of the Knights Templar. Like the Templar, they were created to search for “the Holy Grail” (which is really the bloodline of Jesus — read the Da Vinci Code if for some reason you don’t know this.) Unlike the Templar, they would remain small, practically invisible so they wouldn’t threaten the Church. They invented this game called “chess” and pretended that’s what they were interested in.

The Knights Errant and Freemasons are closely linked. Typically, the leaders of the two organizations have been the same person, except during times where they felt their secret would be compromised.

With the discovery of DNA’s structure in 1953, the Knights Errant realized the ability to clone Jesus was possible, as long as they could find his DNA. And then they could rule the world.

Recent History:

Man De La Maza and Sancho Pawnza are credited with “founding” the Knights Errant, but this was only to draw suspicion away from the true people in power. Did you ever wonder why Blue Devil Knight was considered such a dynamic, charismatic leader? It’s because of the powerful, demonic rituals he performed as Grandmaster of the Freemasons.

BDK is excited about finding a piece of Jesus' DNA
BDK is excited about finding a piece of Jesus’ DNA

A couple years ago, he allegedly retired from chess blogging, but that was only because Dan Brown was watching him too closely. The Masons/Knights Errant decided to temporarily split up the leadership role. So he resigned from being the Secretary of the Knights Errant, but he was still the Grandmaster of the Masons.

The next couple secretaries, Glenn Wilson and Likesforests didn’t do much for several months. It was a pretty slick way to throw people off the trail, but I wasn’t fooled.

chessloser in amazonEvil Masonic rituals assured chessloser would be unhurt by poisoned arrows shot by enraged native tribesmen.

The role of chessloser:

Didn’t anyone find chessloser’s trip to South America strange and suspicious? Well, I did and my investigation did not end up fruitless.

To realize their plans, the Knights Errant needed some secret ingredients found only in rare plants deep in the Amazon. But they couldn’t travel freely in South America due to opposition from the Catholic Church.

So, they decided to get a non-Knight to go down there. chessloser was the perfect agent. They bribed him with beer and porn magazine subscriptions to fight through masses of native Amazonian warriors and shrug off poison arrows to get the rare plants. And he did it.

Blunderprone holds up the Declaration of Independence (artist's rendition)
Blunderprone holds up the Declaration of Independence (artist's rendition)

Future plans of The Knights Errant

Conveniently, Blunderprone seems to want to pick up the mantle. It’s convenient because he lives in Massachusetts, which is pretty close to the Masonic-designed city of Washington, D.C. Once they get the DNA of Jesus figured out, Blunderprone can stop by and pick up the original Declaration of Independence, which has the secret formula to cloning Jesus written on the back. That way they can make the Antichrist in a test tube and start Armageddon so they can rule the world.

It’s pretty obvious, you just can’t trust anyone.

I will probably be dead when/if you read this

The Masons/Knights Errant will probably get this site taken offline and hire the Mafia to kill me off, so I am considering this my farewell. I gave this information to Dan Brown so it will be in his next book.

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22 thoughts on “The truth about the Knights Errant”

  1. Robert says:
    November 8, 2009 at 3:42 am

    Mascot–meet me at location 77tigje02ks8jf8nnas2 at 0000 Zulu tomorrow for further instructions on the next phase of Operation Deep Feint. I am putting this comment on “private” so no one knows about the next layer…the Lizardoid Leader, yes the Alpha, will be there so NO joking around.

    Agent R

    Reply
  2. Derek Slater says:
    November 8, 2009 at 9:51 am

    I knew it!

    About time somebody took these sickos on.

    Reply
  3. Blue Devil Knight says:
    November 8, 2009 at 11:10 am

    Blogger has been informed of the blasphemy, defamation of character, libel, and, alas, even sodomy, on this site.

    Reply
  4. tacticus maximus says:
    November 8, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    That’s a nice little blog ya got here. It’d be a shame if something bad were to happen to it…

    I can’t be responsible for the actions of my groupies.

    Reply
  5. wang says:
    November 8, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    I hate to admit it…but it all makes sense to me know, all of the pieces fit into place…scary!

    Reply
  6. chesstiger says:
    November 8, 2009 at 6:49 pm

    Knight errants are servants of MDLM who is the real great leader. Why do you think MDLM is off the radar after written his book?

    Reply
  7. CMoB says:
    November 8, 2009 at 9:18 pm

    Your a fckn genius when it comes to blogging! Great post! I don’t know how you come up with such stuff. I had a real good laugh. Thanks.

    Oh and btw, it looks like i’m receiving your feed again.

    Reply
  8. Rocky says:
    November 8, 2009 at 9:28 pm

    Sheer genius!

    Reply
  9. blunderprone says:
    November 8, 2009 at 9:53 pm

    You don’t have any proof egg-man.

    It’s time for an omelot.

    I laugh at your ruse. If you decide to wear a tinfoil hat, would you be so kind as to spray it with a little PAM and toss in some onions and peppers while you are at it?

    Reply
  10. blunderprone says:
    November 8, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    Oh.. and by the way… you weren’t pretending when you were cast in the star role ( as Riff Raff) for the promotional Knight Errant video that went viral:

    http://blunderprone.blogspot.com/2008/05/rocky-errant-picture-show.html

    Reply
    1. Polly says:
      November 11, 2009 at 1:55 pm

      OMG! Thanks for putting up that link again. I totally forgot about that video! I felt like I was watching it for the first time, but I know it wasn’t because I left a comment back then. Or did I? Maybe one of the knights impersonated me to get the endorsement of the token female ACIS member.

      Reply
      1. Donnie says:
        November 13, 2009 at 12:44 pm

        That is the power of the Knights. They impersonated Sam Sloan, and they can impersonate you.

        Reply
  11. tanc(happyhippo) says:
    November 9, 2009 at 4:36 am

    Unlike the Da Vinci code, I hear that the Knights Templar have hired not one but twenty albino assassins.

    Hope you have Jet Li as your bodyguard and not Kevin Costner.

    Reply
  12. Donnie says:
    November 10, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    It seems the Mascot found a flaw in his evidence and has been too embarrassed to respond. But thanks all for your feedback, and I’ll see if I can get a hold of him.

    Reply
  13. Morgan Everett says:
    November 10, 2009 at 9:40 pm

    My dear friend, with this reckless and ill conceived little posting you are going to have a bevy of powerful shadow organizations hunting you down: black helicopers, Majestic 12, the Illuminati, the Bilderberg Group, the Trilateral Commission, ECHELON, Men in Black, to name a few. And Chess was not invented by the Knights Errant, but was given to them by Grays. If you aren’t already running for your dear sweet little life I suggest you pack your bags and head either as far north or as far south as you can get.

    Reply
  14. Kate Dino says:
    November 10, 2009 at 10:07 pm

    Can you start featuring more pictures of BDK on this blog?

    Reply
  15. Allen says:
    November 11, 2009 at 12:11 am

    The best part of this post is that it possibly means we may never see the Mascot again. 🙂

    Reply
  16. The Mascot says:
    November 11, 2009 at 12:17 am

    @Agent R: Dude, I’m not so sure it was a good idea to go public with that information, but the Glass Ratchet must know what he’s doing, of course.

    @Derek: “Sickos” is right…how dare they invent a game which made generations of nerdy men look even more nerdy!

    @BDK: It’s not libel if it’s true! Hey, don’t you have that meeting with Benny Hinn and L. Ron Hubbard about how to more effectively separate people from their money.

    @Tacticus Maximus: I’m not worried about your groupies…they already know what I’m packing, if you know what I mean.

    @Wang: Don’t be scared, just stay frosty. And if anyone offers you an interview with Oprah Winfrey, don’t touch them with a 10 foot pole.

    @Chesstiger: You’re forcing my hand here. I didn’t want to accuse any of the Knights Errant of murder so soon, but that should give you an idea what happened to de la Maza.

    @CMoB: It takes many hours of research and late nights to get this info, man. Really anyone could have done it with the proper leads.

    @Rocky: Thank you. I know I’m a genius.

    @Blunderman: Hey, with that facial hair of yours, if I cook your head in a frying pan, it will come out extra crispy. And I know lots of people who pay extra for Crispy instead of Original.

    @tanc: And not even Jet Li is good enough by himself. I just hired Cookie Monster and Bob the Builder as additional bodyguards.

    @Donnie: What flaw? Just because BDK (aka Jared) got you some Subway coupons doesn’t mean you have to stick up for him.

    @Morgan: You fool. I have my own protective shadow organizations (like the A-Team and the New England Patriots) and non-shadow organizations (like Sesame Street and the United Nations). Bring it on!

    @Kate Dino: OK, but the next photos are probably going to be showing him in a prison jumpsuit now that his life of crime has caught up with him.

    @Allen: Well, I’m here. As the human colloquialism goes, “Up yours.”

    Reply
  17. Polly says:
    November 11, 2009 at 1:57 pm

    When is Dan Brown going to buy the rights to this and write his next blockbuster novel. “Knights & Demons”

    Reply
  18. Mrs Chessloser says:
    November 15, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    My poor husband. I hope those arrows don’t kill him.

    Reply
  19. D says:
    November 20, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    [re-posted from CHESSTIGERS similar subject:]
    what about ACCISA? Adult Children of Chess Improvement Seeker Addics?

    there could be meetings, testimonials, admitting that your chess blitz addiction is out of control, righting your wrong endgame pawn endings, rook & pawn endings, sponsoring newer players coming to terms with co-dependance with other enablers of chess opening book addicts, healing the wounded inner USCF or FIDE fallen rating, reviewing lost games honestly and with clarity, admitting ones tactic cheapos, recovery from inappropriate middlegame plans, willingness to explore chessBase10 or think about positions, without the false crutch of Rybka? Yes my friends, it is time. we are brothers in our recovery. senior persons could give plastic medallions to those who have completed first 13 weeks, then a year, and ten years of not overdosing on ICC, FICS, yahoo, or playchess blitz or bullet, and committing to a program of standard chess.
    d

    Reply
  20. David Korn says:
    November 20, 2009 at 6:33 pm

    what about ACCISA? Adult Children of Chess Improvement Seeker Addics?

    there could be meetings, testimonials, admitting that your chess blitz addiction is out of control, righting your wrong endgame pawn endings, rook & pawn endings, sponsoring newer players coming to terms with co-dependance with other enablers of chess opening book addicts,

    healing the wounded inner USCF or FIDE fallen rating, reviewing lost games honestly and with clarity, admitting ones tactic cheapos, recovery from inappropriate middlegame plans, willingness to explore chessBase10 or think about positions, without the false crutch of Rybka? Yes my friends, it is time.

    we are brothers in our recovery. senior persons could give plastic medallions to those who have completed first 13 weeks, then a year, and ten years of not overdosing on ICC, FICS, yahoo, or playchess blitz or bullet, and committing to a program of standard chess.

    dk

    Reply

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