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The Writings of Mascotdamus

Posted on September 10, 2009 By The Mascot 15 Comments on The Writings of Mascotdamus
History, Science/Technology

mascotdamus

That picture is of the great seer Mascotdamus who lived back in the 1500’s. (Yes, my parents named me after him.) He made all these prophecies in the form of “quatrains”, four-line poems. He was in competition with some human named Nostradamus, but while Nostradamus has been pretty much debunked, no one seems to have challenged Mascotdamus. Here are some of the few that have been translated from Eggish to English:

Half and half, this is a leader
Not how one augments morning drink.
He is limited by his birthright.
Half and half is the support of his people.

This is obviously talking about Obama, how he is half-white/half-black, and his approval rating is about 50%. The morning drink part was to make sure no one confused the “half and half” with the stuff you put in coffee. Compared with that poser Nostradamus, Mascotdamus was very specific.

The northern men were always strong
Until the scarlet-clad rose in anger
And won four victories
Before the north drank from a new goblet.

Amazingly, Mascotdamus even made predictions about Major League Baseball! The Red Sox will win two more World Series while George Steinbrenner owns the Yankees (“the northern men”). And a goblet is a type of cup, and so is a stein. So drinking from a new goblet means the younger Steinbrenner will take over.

One of my own name
From a land of milk and grain
Will use the universal flame.
If [he is] not heeded, there will be needless death.

I was named after him and I was born near Battle Creek, Michigan. That’s where Kellogg’s is located (they make cereal, and you pour milk on cereal.) So the prophecy refers to me. And the universal flame must be the Internet, because everyone can access it. So if you don’t do what I say, you’re all going to die.

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15 thoughts on “The Writings of Mascotdamus”

  1. Thryge says:
    September 10, 2009 at 8:47 am

    What is thy bidding, Mascot?

    Reply
  2. Q says:
    September 10, 2009 at 8:48 am

    I forgot to replace my troll name 😛

    Reply
  3. The Fake Thryge says:
    September 10, 2009 at 10:27 am

    WTF is this Mascotdamus shit.

    I’ll show you what a real prophecy looks like:

    A Great General born through battle,
    Slain Knights and Castles destroyed in his wake.
    Dethroned by a mere peasant overseen by Lady Luck
    Whilst flanked by twins Trickery and Deceipt

    Reply
  4. The Real Fake Thryge says:
    September 10, 2009 at 10:52 am

    That picture is fake and Photoshopped. Just like your conversation with me.

    Reply
  5. The Fake Fake Thryge says:
    September 10, 2009 at 11:22 am

    What conversation?

    Reply
  6. The Son of Thryge says:
    September 10, 2009 at 1:18 pm

    Who are all these people daddy?

    Reply
  7. Thryge says:
    September 10, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    Son… I am disappoint

    Reply
  8. Donnie says:
    September 11, 2009 at 12:20 am

    Thanks to the various Thryges for a most enjoyable thread.

    Reply
  9. Thyrge's Mommy says:
    September 11, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    Son, you’ve been a bad, BAD boy and I’m turning off the Internet for a week. The FICS comment was bad enough, but this has gone TOO FAR young man.

    Mr. The Mascot, I am so sorry that a respected blogger such as yourself has been subjected to all of this. Thrygee is only 11 and his computer skills are much better than his social ones.

    Reply
  10. CMoB says:
    September 12, 2009 at 3:36 am

    Yo Donnie! Your RSS feed doesn’t seem to be working anymore. I just checked in to see if you were still at it because i don’t receive updates on my feedreader anymore. I’m using bloglines.

    Reply
  11. Thryge says:
    September 12, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    IF YOU CUT OFF MY INTERNET ACCESS I’LL THROW A TEMPER TANTRUM ALL THE WAY TO JUPITER!

    Reply
  12. Neptune says:
    September 12, 2009 at 9:51 pm

    Wimp. This guy threw a tantrum all the way to me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBVmfIUR1DA

    Reply
  13. Donnie says:
    September 13, 2009 at 1:26 pm

    When Roman gods are dropping in on your website, you know you’ve hit the big-time.

    @CMoB: Thanks for letting me know. I didn’t realize people used it, so didn’t make it a top priority. Will try to fix it today.

    Reply
    1. CMoB says:
      September 13, 2009 at 6:05 pm

      Well if you were the only blog i followed i probably wouldn’t use a feedreader. But since i follow like over 30 blogs, not using a feedreader is crazy. Visiting blogs seperately to see if there are any updates would be a gruesome task.

      Reply
      1. Donnie says:
        September 14, 2009 at 12:56 am

        That is true, and I should really look into getting a feedreader.

        You can use http://www.liquideggproduct.com/feed/rss. I don’t know why the rss2 feed is not working.

        Reply

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