As we gaze through the mists of history, we see the hand of inevitability as the course of weeks marched on.* Other bloggers met. Victorious victories. Embarrassing losses. Vanishing tournament participants.
Final Standings
dnk Pol Whr LEP Tac l3r Tom cl RR
1 drunknknite xxx 1.0 1.0 1.0 1.0 0.0 1.0 1.0 1.0 7.0
2 Polly 0.0 xxx 1.0 1.0 0.0 0.0 1.0 1.0 1.0 5.0
2 Wahrheit 0.0 0.0 xxx 1.0 1.0 0.0 1.0 1.0 1.0 5.0
2 Liquid Egg 0.0 0.0 0.0 xxx 1.0 1.0 1.0 1.0 1.0 5.0
2 Tacticus 0.0 1.0 0.0 0.0 xxx 1.0 1.0 1.0 1.0 5.0
6 l3rucewayne 1.0 1.0 1.0 0.0 0.0 xxx 0.0 0.0 1.0 4.0
7 Tom 0.0 0.0 0.0 0.0 0.0 1.0 xxx 1.0 0.0 2.0
8 chessloser 0.0 0.0 0.0 0.0 0.0 1.0 0.0 xxx --- 1.0
9 Rocky Rook 0.0 0.0 0.0 0.0 0.0 0.0 1.0 --- xxx 1.0
Nine of us slugged it out, and four of us poseurs demonstrated a semblence of strength in our four-way tie for second (placed in no particular order, BTW; I did no tie-breaks).
But drunknknite stands alone as the victor of the very first Tournament of Lepers in history. His name will now be known world-wide as a champion (technically, anyway–LEP has a single reader in countries like Australia and the Netherlands). Even the jokers of Wikipedia will not defame his name, when (if) the Tournament becomes significant enough for its own Wikipedia entry.
Only the heroics of l3rucewayne prevented him from earning the right to a McDonald’s Gift Card of Perfection.
And, drunknknite, as for your prize…due to the mysterious and abrupt departure of gorckat, the original prize–some random item that had a connection to Seirawan–is no longer in play. So you will be the proud recipient of a gift certificate for the USCF store. Valued at whatever’s left in my checking account (not that much). It’ll be arriving via e-mail.
The Mascot has also offered you one of his T-shirts or mugs (with the ability to customize), so I guess you can e-mail about that. He also left you this message of congratulations:
Hey, drunk! You weren’t perfect, but that’s OK. You know the old saying: “To err is human; perfection is eggish.” Anyway, you probably didn’t know this but I’m making a movie. Your victory in the Tournament of Lepers has earned you a great cameo spot! Check out this trailer, and let me know if you want me to stick your mug in there. Although there’s a chance you may be a dashing blonde already, so you won’t need to come in for filming.
….
Anyway, thanks to everyone who made this possible and helped out!
Wahrheit: For convincing me to go through with this and coming up with the time control.
gorckat: Offering what was going to be the main prize.
Allen: Offering a McDonald’s gift card for perfection.
And all the participants!
I forgot someone, probably! Sorry!
CLASSIC. I can’t remember the name of that game, but the line was, “All your base belong to us” or some such terrible translation. Thanks for that. I’m looking forward to playing in the next tournament of LEPers.
Thanks for the props! The game was called Zero Wing. The Internet was oversaturated with “All your base” stuff, but it’s been some years so it’s probably OK now.
And the next tournament…yeah, I should do a sign-up or something soon.
I’m going to offer a McDonalds Gift Card of Perfection for the 2nd Tournament as well.
Thanks for putting on the tourney. I actually got one win. I beat Tom. I don’t know what happened with Chessloser and I. We just never communicated.
Great video. Great tournament. Great job!
Thanks,
Robert
BTW, I’m in Alaska right now and I thought I saw the Mascot drive by the cafe this morning in a Rent-a-Wreck. Any idea what he might be up to (probably no good)?
Thanks so much for the gift card, that was sweet. I almost deleted it by accident thinking it was some stupid promotional thing but thankfully I read this site before I did.
Good tourney!
Not sure about the video… it’s definitely interesting. Can’t believe I let the gift card slip, that could have been an Asian Chicken Salad. Gives me reason to play next time though.
thanks for organizing and putting all this together and the work you did running the thing. great work, great tourny.
Thanks for the holding the tournament, it was fun and it increased my playing ability I think. Definitely my understanding of a couple openings anyway.
I enjoyed the tournament. It was fun to “meet” some of my fellow chess bloggers. Though it turns out I’ve played DrunknKnight in person a few years ago in NYC. He won that game too. 🙁
I’m coming after you!!!
If there is ever a next one… i think I can humiliate myself in the same style as Kieseritzky!
@Allen: Your prize will keep everyone on the top of their game. Thank you.
@Rocky: That’s too bad (in a sense) because Allen was offering the gift card for winless participants as well.
@Wahrheit: Not sure I want to know. I got a postcard from him, so I’ll have to scan that. Did he send the spinning head yet?
@drunknknite: Not sure it was so much “sweet” as “Oh, crap, I need to find something relevant to cover!”
@chessloser: Thanks, although it was less work than you think.
@l3rucewayne: Looking forward to the “opening surprise” you’ve prepared for me.
@Polly: Wahaha! I need to watch the “revenge” match; maybe it would be good for a chess.tv (if the site existed).
@Blunderprone: You seem awfully proud to emulate your…blunderprone…chess great-great-great-grandfather.
Or on the bottom. Ah, the beauty of perfection.
Thanks for the observation. Someone’s gotta really like McDonald’s to start throwing games.