Some Polish military leaders will resist replacing cossacks with tanks
The new Polish government is less open to the United States’ suggestion of placing a missile shield on its soil. Polish Prime Minster Donald Tusk is asking for a reward, military modernization, in exchange for allowing the American defense system to be set up in Poland. While the US wasn’t expecting that sort of pushback, officials admitted it was pretty smart of those guys to try to grab what they can.
Poland hasn’t bothered to upgrade its army since the Crimean War, so they still pretty much use cossacks, mounted cavalry units. An anonymous Bush administration official remarked, “No offense to the Poles–I mean, they’re great people who make a great sausage–but no wonder the Germans beat them in, like, two days in World War II.” Mr. Tusk has done nothing but agree, summarized by the direct statement, “To put it bluntly, cossacks aren’t that effective against aircraft.”
His attitude towards national defense is a stark contrast to the former administration of Jaroslaw Kaczynski, who believed that cossacks would be “good enough if our sovereignty is threatened, at least until the rest of NATO arrives. But the French don’t count.”
Putin is disappointed all the army’s time spent learning how to defeat cavalry formations will go for naught
While Prime Minister Tusk can go ahead and say what he jolly well pleases, he risks the fury of the generals leftover from Mr. Kaczynski’s government. If the cossack units are eliminated, the army will have a significant problem with getting rid of the horses, causing no end of conflict with local chapters of PETA.
Russian president Vladimir Putin expressed dismay that the improved Polish armed forces will reduce the scope of his country’s “potential expansion”. He did concede, however, that such expansion wouldn’t be happening anyway until the Russian navy figured out how to stop sinking its own subs.
wow, this sounds like it’s straight out of The Onion.
It’s my second job.
Seriously, to see it posted today was a surprise. I’d meant to edit the length down before the timestamp triggered, but never got around to it.
Is that Putin fishing in his underwear again?
It’s a recycled picture, but that doesn’t mean he still isn’t fishing shirtless.
Ladies, feel free to grade Putin’s body on a 1 to 10 scale…
I give him a 4; pretty good arms but I like a much more egg-shaped body type. G. K. Chesterton is my ideal man–brilliant, chatty and rounded.
Milk squirting out of the nose at the G. K. Chesterton line. I had to look him up, but once you see his picture, you just know that the name and the appearance are meant to go together.
i rate him a solid 3 of 10. saggy boobs and no six pack. hint of a muffin top. i like the confident pose though. that’s what kept it from being a 1. Shame about that hat.