I am not the only one baffled by the choice to base a movie on the classic board game “Battleship”.
Granted, there are any number of movies that are worse than listening to two opponents utter “B2. Miss! J4. Hit!” back and forth to each other (oh hai, The Room!) But at least garbage like The Last Airbender had reasonable source material to start with.
If they wanted to make a movie based on a board game, maybe “Clue” would have made more sense. At least there are actual people with implied personalities.
But they chose Battleship.
If they can do that, I can take 5 minutes and invent a plot for a Jenga movie:
Famous real estate mogul Donna Truong has been given rights to build the tallest skyscraper in New York. But evil Russian oligarch Viktor Karpov has bribed the city government into letting him build one even taller! After Truong’s 1900 ft behemoth is completed, Karpov finishes his with one extra floor, putting his at 1915 ft.
Due to a worldwide shortage of all metals and building materials, Truong cannot procure more building materials to add to her skyscraper. So she decides to rip out 1/3 of the second floor, and put it on top! Infuriated, Karpov does the same. As chunks of skyscraper are ripped out to make them taller, the structures become more and more unstable. Whose skyscraper will come crashing down first?