Yo, tools! Is your body a lump o’ fat, like most Americans? Don’t wanna get pitied anymore? Exclusive on Liquid Egg Product, starting April 1, I’m gonna give some free previews of my personal fitness program, PX-9000!!!! (Imagine me yellin’ that loud, you KNOW that’s intimidatin’!)
It’s my PERSONAL guarantee, that in just 9000 hours of PX-9000 training, you’ll be ripped…or you’ll be DEAD! Even if I have to kill you myself!
No expensive “protein” drinks! Not like you Americans don’t get enough protein from your fatburgers and pepperoni pizzas. Just good ol’ fashioned exercise! Minimal equipment! Just figure out how much you can bench press to know the right level for you!