The Mascot continued to shout piratey inanities even after I parried his assassination attempt.
I must apologize for yesterday, when the Mascot filled in for me. It looks like all he did was say “ye” every other word and “Arrrr” every other sentence. Plus he was supposed to respond to your comments, which he never did, so I will get around to doing so in his stead.
He wasn’t kidding about trying to kill me. After getting back home last night, the Mascot jumped out from behind a bush sort of dressed like Captain Morgan and brandishing a cutlass. He started blabbering stuff like “It be servin’ ye right if ye get killed by a mutineerin’ pirate,” and other such nonsense. The only reason I couldn’t kick his butt is because he doesn’t have one. He’s a completely inept fighter and is currently receiving care at whatever hospital eggs go to when they need surgery.
I doubt the Mascot will make a return anytime soon, but he is under contract, so I might as well get as much mileage out of him as possible.