There’s this guy, Dan Zak, who articled for the Post about how to “Be More Than a Blip in the Blogosphere”. He has 10 tips, and I’ll just hit lightly on his insight. And I’ll add an 11th tip that was somehow ignored, but will be the biggest driver of traffic to your blog.
1. TELL STORIES RATHER THAN STICKING SOLELY TO LINKS OR PHOTOS. It’s the first one on his list, and I’m at a loss for a funny or sarcastic response. It’s probably the best advice the article gives.
2. CREATE A VOICE FOR YOURSELF. That’s what the Mascot was supposed to be for, but he’s not doing a very good job.
3. MAKE EVERYTHING EASY TO READ AND ACCESS. Actually, this is good advice too.
4. SIFT THROUGH BLOGROLLS AND CREATE YOUR OWN. Also known as the “I-read-your-site-could-you-please-read-mine” strategy.
5. WIDGET YOUR PAGE. Um, OK.
6. COMMENT EARLY AND OFTEN. Another “I-read-your-site-could-you-please-read-mine” strategy. Wonderful.
7. PRAY FOR A LINK FROM THE BIG BOYS. Yeah, that’s a good plan.
8. NOMINATE YOURSELF FOR AWARDS. I gave myself the Worthless Blogger Award. But I don’t see nobody taking me to Chick-fil-A.
9. POST WITH VERVE AND CONSISTENCY. Sounds like a Silmanism. (One of Silman’s books actually used the word “verve”, which is one of those words people know the definition of, but don’t actually use in real life.)
10. JOIN THE CROWD. Boy, Mr. Zak is really into this beg for traffic stuff.
All these tips are a drop in the bucket compared to my findings:
11. HAVE POSTS SOLELY DEDICATED TO PICTURES OF HOT CHICKS. Remember how I mentioned there was a spike in traffic after Hot and Allegedly Hot Female Day? Well, it’s actually a plateau now. The weird part is that the most popular picture is an older one done a while back of a woman in a bathing suit standing in a snowy forest. [The Mascot says: That means you need to make more images of women wearing bathing suits engaged in illogical environments! Like arguing in front of the Supreme Court or swimming in volcanic lava.]