The Mascot has so far refused to divulge his personal history, including his real name, so I’ll tell you the little I do know. In mid-2007, he attempted to market his own brand of cereal called Liquid Egg Product Cereal (undoubtedly, he stole the name from my blog). After being rejected by Malt-O-Meal, he wandered the Earth aimlessly, searching for a gig where he could put his alleged charisma to use.
He finally landed on his feet here at Liquid Egg Product, where I’m paying him less than minimum wage to add to the richness and culture of the blog. (The government doesn’t need to know about that less than minimum wage part, by the way.) So far, he’s talked like a pirate, posed in the nude, and tried to assassinate me. You get what you pay for.